Best. I want to give what’s best.
So I was approached by my friend, trying her best to cloak her sadness with her ever sweet smile.
“So? How are you?” I asked. She replied, “I’m ok.”
Well, I know this is a big fat lie- because her eyes say otherwise.
This is not the first time we spoke about our families, our kids to be exact. She has two kids but then, she and her husband are living away from them. Typical Filipino scenario when parents have to leave their kids to go overseas in hopes of being able to provide what is “best” for them.
B E S T.
Is that what the kids are getting? How can the children get the “best” when they do not get hugged and kissed by their parents every day? Does skyping with them every day count as best? Your kids get left under neighbor’s watch while your family (to whom you left them for care) goes to work or do some chores. Is that best? Should parents feel less guilty if despite of physical absence they can shower them with material things?
Branded clothes, latest phones and gadgets, good school, money… you name it.
Are these worth the pain when the kids slowly drift away and one day would stop talking to you on the phone or through skype or facetime, whatever it is? Absence does not always make the heart grow fonder. Absence can also make one forget.
Personally, as a mother, I can say that there is nothing more painful than not being recognized by your child when you meet him at the airport when you come back home. When finally you are able to embrace your child, but he does not hug you back. You can finally talk face to face, but you get ignored. I know because it happened to me.
Heart breaking.
Shattered my heart to pieces that I vowed that I will do everything so that we won’t get separated again.
As for my friend, she asked: Is it worth it? To stay in this country for better income, but not be able to tend to your own children’s needs? Personally, I would say NO. Being that smart, talented lady that she is, I know that she can find other means to support her children back home.
How about you, what can you say?
Very nice blog
Thank you.
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That would be too hard for me to do.
I was married to an El Salvadorean (Central American)
and it is typical there for children to be left with grandparents while the mother/father go the the USA or Canada to work.
When I lived in El Salvador (for 9 months) I saw several children being raised by grandparents for that reason.
I never had my own children then, but I knew that was something that I could not do.
Thank-you for talking about your experience and your thoughts on this matter.
8 years ago my husband and I had to make that hearbreaking decision to send back our son to the Philippines for my parents to tend while we work here in UAE. I had the most terrible 4 years of my life as a mother. During those times our thoughts and plans were geared to bringing him back to us. We were reunited 4 years ago and he is now 8 years old. However, there is already a gap that cannot be filled. We were not able to enjoy his toddler-hood they way we are witnessing with our 2nd and 3rd children.
I am sorry that all of you had to go through that.
p.s. I found you because I read a comment elsewhere that you are probably going to homeschool your son. I'm a homeschooler too.
take care,
Yes, we are about to start home schooling soon. Excited, terrified, anxious. I can't start to describe how I feel about it especially that I have a full time job. The HS advisers ensured us support and that we are not the only ones in the same situation, so I am hopeful. Especially that I found that there are lots of homeschoolers here at steemit who have already shared their thoughts and some tips.
I also followed you because I saw you are one. 😉
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