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Nothing could be more annoying than traffic in the city of Lagos and having to stand the craze of public drivers and the “Agberos”. I was just coming from a faith and prayer meeting, and I was in my Dad’s car, apparently we are two of a kind. He happened to be the one driving that day and it was late at night.

With the lingering traffic, everyone was tensed, neither patience nor margin for tolerance and we were on the bumper to bumper scenario where perfection is optimum. In a wink, we were bashed from behind by a reckless truck driver. We both came out not to talk but to give a real beating to the guy. Apparently we couldn’t deal with him as intended, as we were separated by passerby. It was a tensed moment and anger wasn’t helping.

According to Wikipedia, Anger is an intense emotional response. It is an emotion that involves a strong uncomfortable and emotional response to a perceived provocation, hurt or threat.

Anger is a human emotion. But when it’s out of control it turns destructive, it can lead to problems at work, relationships and overall quality of life.

Anger can be caused by both outward and inward chain of event. You could be angry at a specific person or event such as traffic jam, or worries about personal problems. Memories of traumatic events can also trigger anger.

Anger has power, but there are ways to deal with that power, from letting it control you to wielding it in a way to spurs you on to something positive. Here's how to tame the inner raging bull:

Relaxation

Simple relaxation can help calm down angry feelings. There are relaxation techniques, and one can call upon them in any situation. Simple steps include:

• Breathe deeply, from your diaphragm.
• Slowly repeat a calm word to yourself, such as "your name", “take it easy." Repeat it to yourself while breathing deeply.
• Imagine a relaxing experience.

Better Communication

The first thing to do in a heated conversation is slow down and think through your responses. Don't say the first thing that comes into your head, slow down and think carefully about what you want to say, at the same time, listen carefully to the other person and take your time before answering.

It's normal to be defensive when you're challenged by people, but don't fight back. Instead, listen to the underlying words and think them through critically. It may take a lot of patient questioning on your part, but don't let a discussion spin out of control. Keep your cool

Change of Environment

Sometimes it's our immediate surroundings that cause for irritation and anger. Problems and responsibilities can weigh on one and make one feel angry. Take a break. Make sure you have some "personal time" scheduled for each day

Finding alternatives: If your daily route through traffic puts you in a state of frustration, map out a different route that's less congested. Or find another alternative, such as a bus or commuter train, but if you happen to be in Lagos, “ajekun iya ni o je”. Life could be less stressful.

Now it's time to share!

What do you think about what I've said? Do you have temper problems? How have you being dealing with such anger issues?

Let's get a conversation going.

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