THE SINGLE NARRATIVE

I was at friend's place in Benin yesterday. While I got there, I met her friend who I eventually had some conversations with. While at the sitting room, we were all having general gists and all. Then the issue of marriage popped up, from thence, it was about how this girl I met at my friend's place kept enunciating how she can never marry from the Ishan tribe and how she doesn't make friends with people from the tribe. She continually enthused her hatred for the tribe. She is Binin by tribe, same as my loving friend whom I visited. She is supposedly a graduate. I kept on reminding myself that the word 'graduate' and 'sense' aren't synonymous.
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Later yesterday, I went to the work place of some of my other friends at a research lab owned by a University of Benin professor. It is at Isihior. After the gists, fun, as we were leaving one of the storey buildings, I saw the name of the professor's wife hugely inscribed on the wall close to the top of the edifice; an Ishan name. The professor who is from Akoko-edo, another tribe in Edo state, got married to an Ishan woman . He dedicated the building to his darling wife. And the funny thing is that I once lived at the boys quaters of his apartment at senior staff quaters while I was in school. You are likely to gain more favours from the man if you're Ishan. He always appreciate the tribe for giving him such a wonderful wife.
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The situation made me marvel at the danger of a single narrative, bringing my mind to that of Chimamanda's; the danger of a single story. While hers was from personal experiences rooted from issues of racism and the likes, mine was sprung from tribalism.
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It was when I gained admission into the tertiary institution I started witnessing the hatred between some persons of the Binin tribe and the Ishan. In some cases, it is a mutual thing while at other times, it coming more from one or the other. I once heard someone quoted saying that if you see a snake and you see an Ishan person, you should kill the Ishan person first. I was heartbroken by it, not just because I'm Ishan as well, which also caused part of the hurt, but because it made me realise tribalism is as deadly as racism, disunity has never helped any organisation...
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I've graced many occasions where a Binin person and an Ishan person were getting married while I was interning as a photographer with Kenoni photography. About three among my about ten very intimate friends are Binin. Some of my friends, those who I mentor are also Binin. I have never once dictated that my friendship with anyone would be dependent on their tribe. It's beautiful to see the world without the glasses of tribalism and racism.
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I've been privileged to know that tribalism is a poison. The universe has placed what we need in others, and these 'others' can be from any background, tribe. They can be from any class, belief and the rest. If we should absolve ourselves from relating with these persons because of the myopia of tribalism we decide to stick with, we will definitely be at loss.
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If you view people from the negative narrative you have, any little error they make would be magnified, leading to: "Ehen! I talk am!" Give people a chance to prove themselves. Take the pain to gain a wider perspective. Don't be quick to air opinions without proper research. Be free.

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