Writing things down !
Someone once told me that if you write something down.... it will happen... you put it out into the universe and it will happen .... I tried that ... it didn’t work ..... he tried that ... it didn’t work .... things change ... the things you want in life change ....plans change ... the things you work for change .... unfortunately everything changes !
I have made a lot of decisions in my life .... that brought me to where I am .... I am not happy and/or proud of a lot of them ... what people don’t realize is that things change ... people change ... goals change !
In the last year ... my marriage is in the process of ending ... I never got to meet the man I love .... the one I fell in love with, he fell in love with someone else .... my plan of happily ever .... granted I expected many complications but ... happily overall ... I got very sick .... I’ve kind of come to the conclusion that maybe some things are not meant for some people. No matter how many times you write it down ... no matter how much you plan ... no matter how much you work at it ... it doesn’t always work!
I think my sudden interest in the gym ... and yoga ... and clean eating ... is all a result of trying to gain some control in my life .... I think it is one of the only things in my life I do have control over ... its the one thing I can decide and only I effect it !
Maybe some people are destined to be alone .... maybe some people are happier that way .... maybe I made a mistake ... maybe my mistake was getting married ... maybe it was ending my marriage ... maybe it was falling in love, when I knew I shouldn’t have.... maybe it was willing to give up everything I worked so hard for .... maybe it was believing that love can get you thru anything .
I know I’m not that old ..but I have sure experienced a lot of things in my almost 40 years .... somethings that people will never experience .... and I hope no one has to experience some of these things ..
Anyway ... this last year has been a rollercoaster ride ... not sure where it is ending tho.... it’s scary .... and feels like forever ....
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