Lesson Learned

Maybe my first instinct was right.
Maybe I should have stayed away.

What was I thinking calling?
What was I thinking giving you access to my life?

Why couldn’t I just keep away?
Why didn’t I just never reply?

It took a while, but I was finally ready.
I was ready to see where this could lead.

It would change my life and that of those around me.

I needed to know you were sure.
I needed to know you were ready.
I needed you to come near.

Instead , you changed the plan.
You made a new plan, which did not include me.

But where does that leave me ?
Worse than where I started.

You gave me hope and love, when I didn’t think it was possible.

How stupid was I to think it was possible?
How stupid was I to open up ?

Maybe it was never me you loved. That was always my fear.

Maybe it was only the challenge and mystery you loved .
Now that the challenge was gone and you figured me out, there was nothing left there for you.

What ever it was, I promise myself it will never happen again.

That wall you tore down, that heart you won over, will never be the same.

Lesson learned, but you will always have my heart ❤️.