Being Nice - What It Doesn't Mean.

Everyone sure loves a nice person. But who really is a Nice Person? Let me define "nice".
According to Merriam Webster Dictionary... Nice means:

• Giving pleasure or joy: good and enjoyable.
• Attractive or of Good Quality.
• Kind, polite and friendly.

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I totally agree with those definitions but due to interactions with people I have come to observe that people are gradually misunderstanding the meaning of the word - nice and mistaking it for alot of other things. So I'm going to try to straighten things out. What doesn't nice mean?

• Being nice doesn't mean you have to agree with others always: If we want to be realistic, we would agree that if two people always agree on every matter then one of them is probably not useful to the other. Sometimes we might have a different point of view from our friends or people we work with. The feeling to pretend you agree with them sometimes could come up because you worried about how they would take it. The truth is, disagreeing on a matter doesn't mean you cannot be nice. Most people are more worried about your approach and the manner you present your opinion than the opinion itself. So you can nicely state your disapproval of someone's opinion.

• Being nice doesn't mean you have to reduce your standards: This still connects to the point addressed above. Let's use a case scenario of a friend asking to stay with you probably because they're financially incapable of getting a place for now. You agree and welcome him in but with time you discover that they do not keep the house tidy as you do. Scattered cloths, bed not laid every morning, delays to do dishes and you on the other hand prefer everything to be in place, neat and tidy. I get that you can feel worried he would say you talking to him anyhow just cause he has some financial issues but the fact remains.... you prefer things done orderly. There's nothing wrong with accomodating people and their flaws, it just shouldn't meddle with your standards.

• Being nice doesn't mean allowing yourself to be taken advantage of: Please do not confuse being nice with not having common sense. Some people deliberately trample on us because of our niceness. Do not allow that. My parents once needed a carpenter's service and decided to use a relative of ours against my wishes, well he delivered the job behind schedule. Next time something came up, they called him and this time he took the money they gave and didn't do the job. Mum felt really bad but she, together with my dad let that happen. Yes, they wanted to patronize a relative but after the first experience they should have come up with an alternative measure.

Don't let your relationship with people make them use your niceness against you. Same goes with people asking for loans. My dear, if you're not ready to give that money out as a gift; then you shouldn't really bother giving because some of us humans can be funny.

• Being nice doesn't mean being a wimp:

A wimp is a weak person who lacks confidence, courage etc.

No one can force you to be nice, it is a choice you make willingly. It is a conscious decision that proves strength of character and so do not feel weak because you are nice. Being nice is strength on its own, don't let anyone make you feel otherwise.

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This is not trying to say we cannot be nice to people but do not mistake being nice with something else.

Happy New Week