My best friend's other best friend

I admit it I've always been a shitty friend I disappear for years at a time and just blow into town like I never missed a beat.

I've always had a best friend I called a best friend but until last year he resisted it.

Last summer after we haven't seen each other in 5 years we made a pact that we would text each other every day.. and for the most part we have... there's the odd day weekend or vacation we haven't, but for the most part we've held true to that...

A couple days ago his other best friend died suddenly.. young, nothing wrong with her, healthy - they still don't know the cause of death. I feel so bad for her family and I feel bad when I said he was my best friend when we were kids and I was so jealous when he said she was, because she was there for him - and she was. She was in town helped him raise his kids helped his wife get on her feet... She was an amazing woman.

I'm not but I'm really glad we made that pact and that I can be here for him when he needs me most. I might be a shitty best friend but I wish I had those years of connection... I think she lived a lot more than I ever will. RIP