Why We Didn't Invite Family Or Friends To Our Wedding

After living in the same house for 10 years, one day while we were having dinner we had the craziest idea to get married. Although we were one of those couples who always said we weren’t going to marry, there we were, mouth full of veggies and me, as a girl, "proposing" to @menta between two bites.

No silly tricks, embarrassing public spectacle or going down on one knee. Some may call it unromantic, crazy or not done, but hey that’s just the way we are!

I can’t even remember which day it was that he said “Why not? Let’s do it!”, but it must have been somewhere in March 2011 we got engaged.

Why he said yes, pure logic it seemed

So what exactly was discussed during that particular meal in March? Well, the whole conversation started with where we were planning to go on our 4-week holiday in 2 months. As we love the Caribbean, our minds were set on that!

It was just a matter of picking a destination and booking a ticket.

However, while I was chewing on a carrot (or any other veg) and thinking about which Caribbean island(s) we would pick, suddenly, all the pieces fit together in one moment of inspiration!

Know that at that time we were planning to move out of Europe to follow our dream of traveling the world and seeing some new places. Getting married seemed a very rational thing to do. If one of us could find a job abroad, the other would be allowed into the country because of the whole being married thing.

So that was one thing. Another thing that went through my mind; If we got married before our 30 ( @menta was 29, and I was 28), some pre-wedding plan both our parents enrolled us in when we were teenagers, would double the amount of money we had saved until then! Which was a lot!

Still lost in thoughts... and with a mouth full of veggies I said: “we should get married, no?”

“If one of us finds a job abroad we are out of here! And remember the pre-wedding plan?”

“So why not get married during our holiday?”

A little more thought and a nights sleep had to go over the whole thing before he officially said YES, though!

We figured that after 10 years under the same roof it would be a good idea to get married and take advantage of it!

While all this may seem cold hearted to you, we were putting the ones and the twos together and making a logic decision. Little did we know how special that day would turn out! But more about that in just a second.

Why we decided on the NO family or friends wedding

Well, that seems obvious no? We just wanted that stupid piece of paper that said “married.” (well actually it is a nice fake leather booklet)

Secondly, my family is about 15-20 people altogether, @menta ‘s family is over 200. A few years back, one of his brothers got married and invited the whole lot, ‘cause you know how it goes if you ask auntie Becky, then you have to invite uncle Larry too, and what about friends, colleagues, etc. they should be there too, no?

Well, the whole thing cost them around $35,000. Yes, you got that number right! And to be honest, they seemed a little stressed that day and all that money gone in one single day. No that wasn't exactly what we planned on doing.

Our wedding would be relaxed. An amazing time that would make us feel excited and happy. Seems simple enough, right? So the Caribbean and no family and friends it was! Just the two of us and a fantastic 4-week holiday in our favorite part of the world.

A tropical wedding for 2 please

We went on the internet and googled Caribbean wedding. The only websites we could find were things like this:

Not exactly what we were looking for. We just wanted to get married, the two of us on a beach if possible, no fancy dress, no other people, no bouquet, no nothing!

While going through these websites I, however, found that translations of all official documents, birth certificates and witnesses were going to be needed.

To get one of these issues out of the way we picked Curacao as our destination as Dutch is an official language in both our home country Belgium and Curacao. So no time-consuming translation of documents needed.

So with that out of the way, we took a look at the government pages of Curacao and found that we had to send a letter at least 2 months in advance containing a few documents and 3 proposals for a wedding date. Quickly we gathered all the papers because our 4-week holiday was starting in just over 2 months.

A beach wedding wasn’t possible as it was too much of a hassle and we would need to find 6 witnesses instead of 2. With no friends and family there we figured that finding 2 witnesses would already pose a challenge on its own.

After maybe 2 weeks a big brown envelope was delivered to our house with the official YES! You can get married here on the 27th of May!

We cracked open a bottle and ordered our tickets and looked for a place to stay.

The most romantic thing we ever did

As we both hate bachelor parties, we don’t see the fun in dressing up like a fool and going on the streets doing silly things; our friends organized a boys-and-girls-together last party before we left. Much more our thing!

And off we were as boy- and girlfriend to return as a married couple. Although we were more excited about our scuba diving course and the things we were about to discover, than getting married. It was just another day of the holiday, right?

Or that was what we thought.

We ended up staying at a stunning, small (3-room), cozy Bed & Breakfast: La Bougainville

When we arrived and explained why we came to Curacao, they couldn’t believe what they were hearing. They actually did the same thing years ago and then ended up living in Curacao (they both came from the Netherlands). They very much reminded us of us but in a slightly older version!

Brigitte and Rob did everything for us. If you ever go to Curacao, which you should, then def go to them. You won't regret it.

The morning of our wedding they surprised us with a special champagne breakfast. Which we shared with the 2 other couples who stayed at the hacienda.

This is the relaxed picture of an hour and a half before our wedding. Still in shorts, uncombed hair. The wedding was at 11 am.

Not that it looked a whole lot different an hour and a half later, though! I'm not really the make-up kinda girl! And no expectations remember!

Just as we planned (or didn't plan), I got married in a $20 holiday dress and @menta in shorts and t-shirt!

When we came in, the mayor asked if we had rings. We said no, and she answered, "ohh then it is going to be a quick one!"

We were already thinking of that bottle of champagne, so that sounded ok.

Last seconds as an unmarried couple

Just Married!!!

The wedding with 2 witnesses we found on the street. Well actually one was working on the counter of the town hall and she found the other one.

After we got married, we went straight to the closest bar with outdoor space and ordered a bottle of their best champagne.

Unfortunately, we can’t show you more pics of the day, 'cause this is all we have. Scroll down to acknowledge the reason for that.

But in a nutshell:

After we left the bar where we had our first bottle of champagne as a married couple, we roamed the streets of Willemstad. Funny enough you would expect a fancy lunch. But no it was freaking hot, so we decided to grab a sandwich and then go to our hacienda for a swim. We had booked a fancy restaurant for the evening, though.

When we arrived at the hacienda, we had the whole place to ourselves, and this is what Brigitte did to our room. Jan’s colleagues even managed to get hold of her and asked her to buy a bottle of champagne and a wedding present. We were so touched, but what happened then was something far greater.

We installed ourselves at the pool, opened up our laptop and put up some tunes. The first song we put on was Kokomo from the beach boys. We had a little dance and fully realized that that song was the perfect match as it totally described our feelings and dreams.

Especially the "let's get their [your dream place or your Kokomo] fast and then take it slow" (mission accomplished by now by the way)

After that, we gazed at the horizon, fully realizing for the first time we got married, shed a tear of pure happiness and spent one of the most amazing days of our life. A wedding with no intentions turned out the best day and actually the best 4-weeks of our life

I will not bore you with the further details, but the whole holiday and getting married definitely, and unexpectedly, changed something. A day to never forget and I’m so happy that we spent it just the two of us.

Because that is what marriage is about, connecting 2 people. You don’t need a fancy, expensive wedding to show your love. The only thing you need is each other.

One last thing about the wedding, like mentioned above we didn’t have rings (we both hate rings, and those things get lost anyways), we decided on having matching tattoos on our last day.

Terry Pratchett’s Great A’tuin seemed a good fit. Turtles are the national symbol of Curacao, it is an island with one big mountain too, and Terry Pratchett is our fav author. Can’t really justify the elephants, but hey we couldn’t leave them out of the picture ;-)

Once we came back home we treated our parents, siblings, and grandparents on a dinner to celebrate our wedding! So much better than inviting 220 people. We all fitted on one table and had a lovely evening where everybody was able to talk to each other.

If I had the chance to change the whole experience I wouldn't change the smallest bit

Bad karma of leaving friends and family out of our special day

I couldn’t show you more pictures of our very special day. The day we returned all our best friends came down to Amsterdam and all our electronics, including laptop and camera with pictures got stolen from the car.

Bad karma for not inviting them you could say.

Luckily, we sent out a few picture to my mom and one of the couples who stayed in the Hacienda volunteered to come along to the wedding and take a few picture which they had not erased by the time we contacted them when we were back home in Belgium.

While it totally sucked that they stole our luggage, with a few small wedding presents of people we met there and Jan’s colleagues, they were all material things! Nobody got hurt, we didn't lose a limp, and we still got each other!

Nobody can ever take the whole experience from us!

It’s all stored up here

… and down there.

However, the second day we were home we decided to redo our trip in December and take some new pics!

Problem solved! Life is too short to be anything but happy!

Thanks for reading and until next time 😍
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