Black Boy Lost "Autobiography of a black child raised in an all white household"

When I was born, as I was told, I was premautre and addicted to crack cocaine as so many children, especially of african amercian heritage where in those time of the 80's during the crack cocaine epidemic within Chicago's poverty stricken neighborhoods. I was eventually adopted by caucasion parents. My Mother was of Irish decent, my Father from a Polish bloodline. Even though I wasn't in an abusive household and I was able to escape the poverty that many of my peers faced growing up in the late 80's and early 90's in Chicago.

Though rasied in a very loving and understanding household I still had no true sense of self, and was confused as a child due to the lack of acceptance. I can remember my older sisters and parents being called nigger lovers as a child once we moved to Darlington, South Carolina. Though then I never knew the meaning of the word, i can never thank my Mother enough from sheilding me from the hate and hurt of such a word. I can vividly remember her telling me that the word "nigger" meant "ignorant person" and that the people calling me were the real niggers. Even that in itself as honarable as gester as it was, it was proof within itself that I truly knew nothing of being "black". Now that Im older though, honestly speaking, who really knows what the definition of being "black" is. The mainstream defintion of black, especially within the urban state of mind is somewhat tisted into thinking, by way of social programming through music and TV, think being black is synonymous with being "Street" just as much as being "Real" is to criminal conduct.

Having no identity of self whatsoever, this lack led me to get answers as who to identify with through music and TV, and this is during the era of Gangster Rap such as NWA, and Hood Movies like Menace 2 Society and Boys in the Hood. So easy to say I was surely misled as to what I thought being Black was.

If u took the time out to read this then you had a chance to take a quick look into the behind scenes of the movie that is my life. It feels so good to finally be able to talk about such subjects as i was too embarassed in my earlier years to even expound about my upbringing. As time goes by I will share more of my life experiences with my fellow steemians as long as you all are willing to listen with open understanding. Please comment, upvote and Resteem if you so chose.