How often do you judge yourself?
Many people unconsciously struggle through their lives with Self-Judgment to the extent that they become no longer able to make progress on their career, relationships or personal levels.
Self-judgment is very important tool when it comes to assessing our progress or finding something we don’t like about ourselves. However, it may be healthy or unhealthy. It can also be very obstructive when it is done excessively, unconsciously or in an unauthentic way. Each time you judge yourself you either get positive or negative feedback. In some cases when you get negative feedback you feel irritated and tend to take a rapid step which usually doesn’t change the results causing you try take another rapid step. Repetitive negative feedback can eventually lead to self doubt, hopelessness or depression.
Some people, who are/were subject to excessive criticism through early stages of their lives by family or teachers or any other sort of authority, are in continues state of self judgment. Others are victims of some high standards imposed on them by mass media or society.
Others may have developed a mindset of finding their self worthiness through comparing themselves to others, which is very addictive, and regardless of the results of the comparison they tend to find other people to compare themselves with.
What to do to handle excessive self-judgment:
Bring it to awareness; be conscious about your self-judgment process, this helps alleviate being absorbed by it.
Bear in mind that every human being is unique in a certain way, every one -including you- have his own innate qualities and talents which can’t be discovered by someone busy comparing himself to another one. Thus no matter how you perceive yourself, you are worthy beyond comparison.
Negative feedback might not be about you, it might be about the standards you judge yourself against. Every time you get negative feedback ask yourself these questions:
1- Are the standards I do use fit to the stage in progress where I am or they are higher than required?
2- Are they rational?
3- Are they mine, or I have borrowed them from someone else or media? In this case you need to find your authentic standards that come from who you truly are.
4- What is bad about not meeting this specific standard and what would I lose if I don’t meet it?
For 15 minutes a day let go of self-judgment process all at once, discard all your standards and release the stress they cause to you. Live from the place within, where you know that you are OK the way you are. Realize that illusory fear of not being competent, and you had been completely satisfied with who you are before been taught to judge yourself.
Thanks for reading.
*The above article is my personal opinion and not based on scientific study.
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