Perfect Life Project - 001 Confidence [Mind]
In a brief research, I got the following definition for confidence: "belief that something will not fail, that it is well-done, or strong enough to fulfill its function." Aside from not being a bad definition, I feel the need to complete the process. So, confidence (or self-confidence) is the feeling that a future event is going to end successfully; and if it does not, no big evil will come as a result.
I like to use this definition because it shows two important things: first that trust is a feeling, that is, it is something that we can induce and not something that we have or do not have; second that it relates confidence with the future and what will come from it.
One term correction that I believe to be very relevant is to remove that meaning of ownership of lack of confidence because it is something that comes and goes. Therefore, lack of confidence appears in certain situations and not in others. Bad habits can lead one to enter into this state of mind for various normal tasks of the day. So I think as soon as possible the person starts changing these bad habits and replacing them with the following guidelines, the better.
Why is lack of confidence such a big problem?
Every human being on the planet has experienced at least one event where he lacked self-confidence. It is normal once in a while to come across situations where we can not see something good coming from a certain fact that will happen. The big problem appears when this lack of confidence is very frequent, and often in unnecessary situations.
I see the problem of lack of confidence as something purely mental. For example, an adult is very confident that he would win a boxing match against a 3-year-old regardless of their training level. But if the opponent was Mike Tyson in his golden years, I think even most professional boxers would be at least a little nervous in that situation.
This lack of confidence produces negative results, leading from self-sabotage to retreat. When a human being believes that something he is about to do is going to go wrong, he ends up not doing his best and gets bad results. In fact, often just thinking that it will not work and that the consequences of the mistake will be devastating, many people give up without even trying.
Ways to feel confident:
These are some ways to overcome a moment of lack of confidence for a situation that is about to happen in a short time. At first these are quick but temporary solutions. Combining several of these techniques can leave anyone to a very high level of confidence to complete a task graciously.
- Keep in mind your level of preparation to what will be done. If it is something that the person has done a few times successfully or had a good preparation before that moment, thinking about this preparation can be beneficial;
- Change the posture of the body. It may seem strange, but the physiology of the body changes how we are feeling. Change one's position to an upright posture, with the chest open, shoulders wide apart, chin pointing forward and relaxed body will gradually bring the feeling of confidence;
- Think of previous victories and achievements, especially in the most difficult and complicated situations;
- Use the support of a media. Listen to a song, watch a video, read a text, or use any kind of motivational and inspirational media;
- Think of a character, idol or person who is skilled at the task being performed and imagine going to execute it as if you were in his or her skin;
- Breathe deeply, but naturally, as if you were breathing in a situation where you feel confident;
- Visualize everything going right and the best possible result happening;
- Remember a moment in life where you felt extremely confident and imagine that this moment is happening again now in the present;
- Eliminate negative internal talk by replacing with positive internal talk.
Ways to become confident:
Becoming a confident person, as well as many other things in life, is a matter of practice and good habits. Here are some recommendations that will help you develop long-term (or even permanent) confidence. This is a more time-consuming process to achieve great results, but it is certainly worth every minute of practice, as advances will change your future.
- Practice and repetition. This is for all the techniques listed above. The more often a person practices entering a state of self-confidence, the easier and faster this process gets. That is, the person practices several times a day to remain in a confident posture until this becomes his natural posture. You practice seeing yourself several times a day having huge success, feeling confident and in the shoes of some specialist, and you will get used to being with that feeling naturally.
- Practice and repetition. This time for skills that will be used in moments that we think are necessary. As already mentioned, a person only feels the lack of confidence in certain situations. This usually happens because he is doubting himself as to his ability to successfully complete that task. Hence, constant correct practice will create a gigantic number of successes, generating confidence for future performances. For example, if a soccer player gets nervous about shootout a penalty during games, by practicing several successful times a day for a good period of time, he becomes more confident to shootout during games.
- Dissociate yourself from the possible negative thinking of people. What other people think is important to them, what you think is important to you. Getting in the habit of not caring about the judgment of others will not only improve your confidence, it will also improve your quality of life in many other aspects.
- Spend more time with people who naturally are in high levels of confidence during the day and avoid spending too much time with people who are the other way around. Usually strong feelings are contagious, so try to always be surrounded by people with good feelings. If this is not possible, try to be the person who raises the confidence level of the group.
Make your appearance the best you can every day. Wear clothes that make you feel beautiful, pay a little more for a better haircut, buy an accessory that will make you happy, lose or gain weight. Feeling beautiful and happy everyday is a great step towards achieving high levels of confidence naturally.
- Change self-criticism to self-recognition.
- Take responsibility for your actions, regardless of whether the outcome was good or bad. This will give the person a more realistic view of when a mistake was made and what are the necessary improvements to avoid the same mistake. Blaming something else takes that power away.
- Practice physical exercise (gym, walking, sports, etc.). Physical exercises induces the release of hormones that give a sense of happiness and confidence. Try to exercise at least 3 times a week.
- Replace negativity with positivity.
- Do not compare yourself to others, compare yourself to yourself in previous situations.
- Trace goals and be filled with satisfaction when you make any kind of advancement to reach them.
- Go to sleep thinking about everything you did successfully in the day to sleep confident. Wake up thinking of your achievements to have a day with lots of confidence.
- Ask for help if you need or even pay for a mentor. Asking for help is not a sign of weakness, it is a sign of understanding that the situation requires this request. If it is something that needs a lot of help or very often, consider paying for a mentor or course.
- Help, be kind and generous to people. Helping another person is an incredible therapy. Besides increasing your confidence also brings many people and good things in life.
- Recognition comes from within. As much as it's a nice feeling when people recognize our efforts, keep in mind that true recognition is our own.
- Be persistent. The act of giving up generates feelings of incompetence and reduces confidence. If you are having trouble completing a goal, consider asking for help or looking for instructions.
Lack of self-confidence is a result of bad habits that, if not replaced, will keep generating a state of increasing impotence. Fortunately, there are many ways to improve confidence levels for both short-term and long-term results. Nonetheless, there are key concepts to becoming a naturally confident person: resilience, positivity, learning and practice, lots of practice.
Even if confidence is a sentimental state tied to specific tasks, if all the aspects discussed are worked out, the improvements will happen in a holistic way, since after establishing good habits it become permanent and spread throughout life.
I believe this article can help anyone who wants to improve their confidence levels in any situation. However, if you have a situation where you can not see how to use these tools, I am willing to personally help you.
I am counting on everyone's comments for criticism, suggestions, ideas and story-telling.
Thank you so much for reading this article and I hope it has helped you in an awesome way.