This Shit Called Life: Shit You See In A Club. A Married Guy Turns Out To Be Gay

For the earlier part of my young adult life, I was working at a local club. I spent like five years there working part-time. It was one of the most popular clubs in South East Asia and it made me feel like the shit. But pretty soon, it made me feel like shit.

It was a great at first. I was only 22 when I was employed as a "Front Office Executive" at the club. That sounds like a cool name, but basically I was just a door host. That means to say, I welcomed people at the door and made sure VIPs had smooth entry. It was also my job to look good, and I looked really fucking hot. I got to wear a suit. I was really hot in it.

I was attending college back then so pretty soon I was known as that dude "who worked at the club". I was enjoying and loving all the attention. I didn't have to party and club like some normal dude. I was up a level. I was working in a club! My drinks were free. To this day, I don't have to queue up to go inside because I know the other Front Office guys there. There were a ton of hot girls at the club and it was really easy to strike up a conversation. I worked thrice a week. That was three days of awesomeness every week.

People were also very eager to become my friend. I had the privilege of signing in guests, meaning I could get my friends in for free. It felt pretty good that I had the power of giving out such favours. I felt like a super important person. I was making so many friends, that, dare I say... I was becoming popular and I knew it. Friends were magically coming out of nowhere!

But all that shit and glamour died down really fast. After about four months, I was absolutely sick of everything.

I was tired. My life was overwhelmed with fatigue. I got home from work at about 5AM each night. Sometimes, I couldn't even sleep by then. The worst period was a time when I was sleeping at 10AM every morning. My off days practically started at 7PM and I couldn't do much.

I was getting jaded from all the attention. I felt used by friends. The privilege of giving out favours turned out to be a double-edged sword. Friends wanted to know me because they just wanted a free entry, some of whom asked me in a very curt manner. Once, a girl called me up to ask if I was working. I said no, and she said, "Ah fuck", and hung up on me. I was taken aback by how rude people could be. Another time in college, I was having lunch with a friend. A friend of his walked by, a girl whom I signed in the night before. He introduced her to me and said nicely, "This is Alden. He got you in last night". She was like, "Oh. Hi". She looked away, said some shit to my friend and walked off.

I was also getting very angry. I had to deal with a lot of fucked up customers. Seriously, if you want to see the bad side of people, just work in a club. People don't even have to be drunk to become assholes. It's a funny aspect of social dynamics which is heavily played out in a club. People basically want to look good, so they spend a lot in booking a table with copious amounts of alcohol. Since they spend, they expect the best of service and think that they can get away with being an asshole. I took a lot of that shit in. I was literally pushed by people, scolded in the face, given the finger and other stuff. Pretty soon, I found myself being pissed off a lot.

In those five years, I quit twice before I left for the third time permanently. Yeah. Despite everything, I kept going back because I needed the money.

There's a fuckload you can learn about life and human behaviour in a club. I'll always treasure the memories and take pride in the fact that I got the chance to see people for who they can really be. An older friend once said I grew up too fast. He was right.

For starters, there's a lot of infidelity going around in a club. Guys are cheating on their girlfriends, and girls are at the club without their boyfriends' knowing. And honestly, this isn't as straight forward as it sounds. It isn't a case of a drunken night taken too far either. Stereotypically, you might think that a "douchebag" of a guy or a "slut" of a girl would only cheat. But nah, all kinds cheat. I've seen the most seemingly innocent of people cheat on their partners. That's more disgusting if you ask me. At least the douchebags and sluts are honest about it.

I've met guys and girls alike in long-lasting relationships getting drunk off their asses. The excuses always mount up.

Guy is busy drinking and flirting with some girl: "Oh nah, man. We're just talking!". Pretty soon, that shit would turn into incessant texting, dating and eventually sex.

Girl is busy dancing and grinding up some guy on the dance floor: "Oh, it's only dancing. We are not even touching lips". Pretty soon, that shit turns into making out and they'd be going home together.

I know. Because I've been there. I've been cheated on and I've cheated before. Alcohol is never an excuse, but shit can happen. It's best to come clean, try to make amends and move forward in life.

I once made out with a girl heavily in a club. We just met that night. Her fiancé picked her up later. We remained friends, which was cool. She complained to me once that she caught her boyfriend texting some other girl and she was devastated. Whaaaaat??

They say that alcohol is "liquid courage", where your inhibitions are released and you gain the balls to do whatever the fuck you want. It's kind of true, except that I think it doesn't equate to you behaving well. One ought to gain balls in life in the first place and do what they want before they fuck it up with alcohol.

Now this is just some young, boy-girl relationship bullshit. A higher magnitude of things comes in marriages. Yep. While working inside at the VIP area, I'd meet married people, guys and girls alike.

A friendly guy once came to me and was like, "Oh man! I'm so screwed. My wife is here".

"Why is that bad?" I asked.

"My mistress also showed up".

Right. The funny thing, he was one of the nicer customers. He had his "please"s and "thank you"s in order and was not a rowdy asshole. I'd have gladly laughed and talked with him more than deal with some idiotic kid who was scandalous but rude as shit.

Another older guy I knew inside was married with kids. He's a rich dude who’s pretty much made it in life. He was gay by the time I met him. I even met his son on his 18th birthday; his virgin, coming-of-age night where he could legally drink alcohol. I had no fucking clue what to talk to him about. What was I supposed to say? "Hey, did you know your dad makes out with dudes?!?!?! Dude!"

I've no idea if his wife knows. I don't even care to know. But it goes to show what you can amount to if you spend your whole life listening to others as you grow up. No amount of "making it" with money, a thriving business, an extravagant lifestyle of partying and alcohol and even a loving family can beat what you really want deep down.

And yet, with all its hostility and collusion of erratic human behaviour, partying and clubbing can really teach you to keep an open mind. I like to think that I've managed to become a less judgmental person altogether, if not somewhat less of a cynic. It teaches you to look deeper and not take things at face value.

A rich kid who treats his friends to drinks all the time? He's not rich. His dad is.

An arrogant VIP who spends wildly at the club? Talk to him. You will find a goldmine of virtues and stories of how he rose up and made a man of himself.

As for me, well, I'm not an asshole. I partied hard even after quitting, and my close friends know me for the guy who knew and dated a lot of girls, but was extremely honest with them. I never once deceived a girl for sex. Also, when I'm drunk, I don't create trouble by getting into fights and stuff (except that one time with Jon!)

As with life, you should always look deeper and try to spin the positive yarn out of everything.

A friend once told me, "Of course partying is fun, but it's the easiest way to have fun". It's so fucking true. With that, partying gets old. Really fast. I was given a crash course in partying since I started working in the nightlife scene. Was it worth it? Sure, why not? Then again, I try not to think about it. It was just a job and a demanding one, at that. I left it behind, but I know of people who are just addicted and stuck in the scene.

In this case, they shouldn't get a beer. They should get the fuck out.