The Best Advice I Got On Relationships When I Got Cheated On
A while back, I was cheated on by this girl I was dating. I was 25.
She got drunk and made out with this friend of mine, who happened to look like an ogre.
She promised that night to not get drunk because believe it or not, she legitimately had a drinking problem.
She even texted me that night saying she was very determined to not get drunk.
But basically, after a certain hour, she disappeared.
The next morning, she didn't pick up my calls or reply my texts.
I was frantic as fuck.
Then the next day, she told me the ugly deed she committed.
I was mad. I was upset.
I wanted to kill the guy.
I wanted to end it with her somehow.
I mean, I simply thought, "She cheated on me! She's the one in the wrong."
I therefore had every right to be angry. I even had the right to punish her.
Logical right?
Then one day, a friend told me this, "What she did was wrong, but it's not a death sentence."
It's not a death sentence.
It really woke me up.
When it comes to relationships, be it romantic or not, we all have this vengeful, "all or nothing" mentality where the grey area does not exist.
Black is black. White is white. Right is right and wrong is wrong.
In particularly, infidelity is where the cheater should be handed the death sentence with immediate effect.
But nah... Like it or not, that isn't the way anymore. And that shouldn't be the way if you want to be happy.
If you hand out death sentences all the time, you neglect ideas forgiveness and simply moving on.
You most certainly overlook the man in the mirror.
If you want to be happy and also allow those around you to be happy, you gotta stop with the death sentences.
You gotta communicate with love and not just punish.
You gotta eventually forgive.
You gotta ultimately stop giving a fuck and let ignorance run its flow.
A death sentence is only about asking for what you deserve.
It's asking for justice.
It's asking for punishment unto the wrongdoer.
It's asking for a sense of fairness.
It's rushing into a decision without truly thinking.
But in love, you gotta ask yourself too, "What kind of love can I give out instead?"
Without expecting anything in return.
Think about it.
thanks for the post... it is very vital... if you love, you must love without a trace. not thinking, that can be obtain, and to think, that can give. Thanks
sorry about you and your ex. It's a good thing you've moved on. loving this post.
Moving on is the best i can do. The problem is that, we can't read peoples' hearts.
My brother, true love is never found, it's just made.
As before, give thanks to see another day, forgive everyone who pissed me off yesterday, and let out the dog. My wife of 48 years has never cheated on me that I know of. If she has I probably deserve it. Living with me ain't for sissies.
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Thank you @aldentan. The very end of your Post shows that you are full of Wisdom. Most of us do rush into things and sometimes are guilty of implementing things like vengeance. But you're exactly right .....i.e. What do we need to expect from ourselves and how much Love can we give out without expecting anything in return.
An important question we all need to ask of ourselves !!