I want my relationships to be perfect and without any bullshit standards. Is that wrong?

in life •  last year

Every time I get into a relationship or talk to my friends about their relationships, I never fail to hear about the bullshit standards.

You know, they sound like:

"Stop complaining that she's always late. She's a girl. Girls are like that."

"He's a guy. Guys are always angry and you should allow them to be so."

"I am insecure due to my ex. Obviously, that's why I acted the way I did. Why can't you understand that?"

"Which relationship comes with no problems? Fighting is perfectly normal!"

And it goes on and on. Some relationships get dramatically insane as both parties become extremely toxic to the point of say, cheating on their marriages.

It's sad because with the excuses above, it's not just tolerated, it's accepted.

I for one think that it's absolute bullshit.

I would like my relationships to be perfect. Yes, perfect. In my eyes. 

And I don't think that there's anything wrong with that.

Fights, quarrels, squabbles and little arguments will definitely happen.

But that should be all for the sake of evolution and growing together, NOT because you think toxicity, pain and hatred should be normal and regular.

And come on. I don't care how unique or that you think you're a special little snowflake. 

It doesn't take a damn genius to act like an adult. Acting all self-entitled and shit and expecting others to say, wait for you just because you're an asshole who can't be on time is just not cool.

This is your relationship you're talking about.

Heck, this is YOU we're talking about.

The best kind of relationship is personal development and self-improvement.

Your partner should make you want to become a better person in life.

Hence, this is your life we're talking about.

Don't fucking settle for bullshit.

Settling is how you become unhappy in a relationship; is how you turn sacred conventions like marriage into convenient solutions you think will solve problems and bring you guys closer together when in actual fact, it won't.

You only deserve the best. Aim for perfection.

Peace,

Alden

www.Alden-Tan.com

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Thank you Alden, a very enjoyable read, as usual. You can really do this for a living.
You cut to the core of things in your writings. That is highly appreciated.

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Thank you!

It is clear that you understand balance whereas many people just flap their mouths to stroke their ego. Glad I found your blog.

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Glad to have you!

I think the most important thing in a relationship or marriage is to avoid to do things when you know that they hurt your partner and to do things when you know your partner loves them. When you hate to act like that in a relationship there is only one reason. You do not love that person. Or you are so different that you have to disguise all the time so I think it is better to separate or divorce.