This is a short message about our ego and how we can tune it down so we can be happier.

I remember the times when I got rejected by a girl or had to go through an ugly breakup.

I would get sad, then get pissed.

That was my defense mechanism.

I would always want to get the last word in.

I then proceeded to act like a jackass to her.

I'd start to insult her.

I'd start to bring up all her mistakes even though it was from the past and had nothing to do with the situation at hand.

I'd start to talk shit about her to my friends, making me look like the good guy.

I'd delete them off Facebook.

And usually, even before the fallout happens, I'd establish that I'd never be friends with any of them, my reason being that I don't believe in friendship after a relationship when in actual fact, I just wanted them to feel the pain of missing me in their lives.

All this I did, to win some so-called respect.

Needless to say, that was highly immature of me.

I think when it comes to relationships, we always try to protect out self-esteem.

We let our ego take control just so we can protect this image we have in our minds, an image which we think is right for us.

But the thing is, being right doesn't equate to being happy.

You have to ask yourself: Do you want to be right? Or do you want to be happy?

Do you want to 'win', or do you want to be happy?

Do you want to look good to others, or do you want to be happy?

It sounds obvious enough, but it can be tough, especially when emotions run high.

So always try to tune down your ego. 

The ego usually provides short-term, nay, immediate solutions to suit your self-serving image only.

The ego prevents you from being honest, mature and reasonable.

The ego also says, "Huh, that ain't my problem!" when in the future, you think back and start to feel the guilt, pain and regret.

Try to be honest. Be reasonable. Cool down before you speak. Think for the long-term. Think about how the other party feels. Put yourself in their shoes. Don't bring up unnecessary shit just to put them down. 

Most of all, don't spread hate about them to your friends.

It will get better. Trust me. So you really don't need to let your ego take control and make yourself do you do things you don't mean.

Peace,

Alden