Time will heal but for now I have to just breathe

There will be a most definite shortage of posts this week....in all actuality this will more than likely be the only post this week.

We are dealing with a hard loss in the family. My paternal grandmother passed away on Sunday morning.

I have spoken many time about my "granny", and how Caleb and I go visit her every Monday and have been for a long time now. Last October she was put in the nursing home and our visits were even more important being that she was in a new place and not the typical comforts of her home.

But just as though she were at her home, every Monday Caleb and I would go to the nursing home and he would read her his story from school each week. We'd typically get into a fierce game of Old Maid or Go Fish during our visits and would often talk about the goings on in the town, Caleb's school or the nursing home puppy dog that wandered the halls.

For the past two weeks we have been unable to see her because of a viral illness that had run rampant at the nursing home. They asked for visitors to stay away unless the visit was absolutely necessary. So the rule follower in me stayed clear. I hated that we couldn't go see her. While I knew she wasn't in all reality lonely, it made me sad knowing that she didn't get her weekly story from Caleb.

I am having a hard time with closure because of our inability to see her the last time. Caleb had been seemingly unsure of the situation and that also made it difficult. However, I was relieved that when the hubby and I were talking about how she won't get to see Caleb make his First Communion (she was a devout Catholic), it was then that Caleb chimed in saying "yes she will, she'll see me from Heaven".

While the loss is a very hard one. I do have peace knowing she was cared for. She was truly loved and cherished by the staff of nursing home. In fact one of granny's favorite nurses was a mom to a little girl in Caleb's class. Granny always referred to her as her "angel". I couldn't be more sure of the title.

Even when she was moved to another hallway, granny's "angel" still came by every morning to check on her and see how she was doing. This was a care she didn't have to do, but she did.

I'm thankful to all of the people who cared for my grandmother, all of the people who came to visit her, the ones who would look past her certain fiesty-ness and everyone who has prayed and well wished our family during our loss.

I know time will heal this pain eventually, but for now I just have to breathe.

-Kim