Being Fine Sucks, Don’t Be Fine - Be Excellent
Fine is a typical answer to the question “How are you”, but often the question really means, “hello” and fine means “hello” back. Fine is also the response to someone who really is asking how you are, but you don’t want to talk about whatever it is that makes you say “fine”. Being fine sucks. At best, being fine is equal to being okay.
Fine is dismissive. It can say leave me alone, which is occasionally appropriate. But it can also be a test. It says if I tell you what’s really going on you might regret asking me how I’m doing. Do you really want to know?
Fine is prophetic. When people say they’re fine, they tend to stay only fine, their lives don’t get much better. Sometimes it means they’re not okay at all, and they are saying they’re fine in hopes that they will become okay.
Successful people aren’t fine. Think about the successful people you have encountered in your life. (Success is not defined by or limited to finances, but can include any area of success in life.) These people don’t tend to use the word fine. They respond with words like great, fantastic or awesome. And if they do happen to use the word fine, they’ll repeat the word for emphasis, and they don’t leave it there, they will tell you about it. Even if they’re having a struggle of some kind, they’re good and getting better, but they’re not just fine.
Fine is not fine. Let’s change our vocabulary. When we greet each other let’s do just that, greet. Say hello, good to see you, hope everything is well with you, but let’s not ask how someone is doing unless that’s exactly what we want to communicate, that an answer to how you’re doing is what we expect to hear.
Here is the “fine challenge”. When you’re telling someone how you are, use words like excellent, great, fantastic and awesome, even if you don’t feel that way. And the next time someone tells you they’re fine, ask yourself if there is something you can or should do. Sometimes it is best to let them alone, but sometimes it’s a missed cue that they might need something and you can help.
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Great thoughts! I like the idea of changing "how are you?" To "good to see you". You know people don't really want to know how younger unless they stop and have a real conversation with you!
Great point, and when you tell someone it's good to see them, they feel good!
I'm definitely going to try it when I return to work in the fall!
You go!
I agree 100% :)
haha thanks for checking me out! I still need to go eat, hard to get off Steemit, just one more. Maybe it's a good diet program lol
True lol, I have been spending more and more time on here and no time on any other platforms except our youtube. I was pretty much over and done with all the others as it was.
Yeah, the only reason I go to FB is to keep up with out of town family and friends.
I agree with this 100% and it was never more prevalent than when my dad died and everyone was asking me how I was...and were SHOCKED when I stopped parroting everything else our grieving family was saying. They said, "I'm fine" until I wanted to choke them all. We were not FINE!
So if a person asked how I was, I began to answer honestly. I'm angry. I'm sad. I can't deal with this right now... "I'm fine" is a non answer and I rarely accept that from anyone as an answer. If I am bothered to ask, "How are you?" it generally means I spared a moment to listen.
You're the exception when you mean what you ask and pursue them when they say fine. People are often taken aback when you answer the question truthfully and all they meant was hello.
Agreed on this completely. I have a colleague who would always respond, " I am :
and everything positive. True enough, he also attracts positivity to him and he is one of the successful sales managers in our company and the mentor of our Number 1 - Million Dollar Financial Consultant (which makes him a million dollar -sales manager)
Excellent example, I've known people like that too
When I lived in Germany, the Germans always looked at me funny when I asked them how they were. They think, I don't know them, why would I want to know or care?? We Americans have interesting customs that many other countries find odd! Haha
You're absolutely right tho, fine hardly ever actually means "fine". Often it means the conversation is closed. When people ask me, it's auto "I'm good thanks! How are you?!" I actually kind of want to know. But then again, I think I want to know... it's so programmed as a response that I'm not even sure!
Very interesting about Germany. I wonder if they have their own wording or if the don't fall into that one.
Great that you're honest enough to question your own motives :)
It's not something they ask unless they want to know for sure. Haha.
Germans do seem like pretty no nonsense people lol
That's totally what makes them awesome! Haha.
@aboutyourbiz, I have to confess that I am very rarely "fine." Quite often, I am "peachy." To people I know well, I am sometimes "upright." When I've had a difficult day, quite often I'll respond with "I think I'm gonna make it!"
That said, I am seldom "fantastic" or "awesome"... because I am seldom fantastic or awesome. But that's a personal pet peeve... insincere superlatives. I reserve those for when it truly applies... and then use them with GUSTO!
But yeah, definitely not fine.
Ok, I can see that. I suggested using positive words because sometime you can simply choose to be that. Also, using the positives can also take people aback, but in a positive way.
Obviously every situation is different.
BTW, peachy is code for fine in my neck of the woods ;)