More tales from The Cwtch

in life •  6 months ago

It's 8pm, and the bar is completely empty. It's just me, and the owners dog, Misty.

Between 8 and 10pm, it is happy hour(s), and I think it's fair to say that during this time, we have the cheapest drinks in Cala Millor. The bar is stocked, every glass is clean, we have 2 TVs showing whatever is requested, a pool table, and free wifi.

But the bar is empty, why?

Well if I knew the answer to that, I'd probably work on rectifying it, if I could. It's possible that The Cwtch, not on the main strip (20 metres up a side road) is low on foot-fall. Having a bar or restaurant along the main promenade is likely to pick up the undecided, as long as it looks appealing. Clean tables, lights, and a board displaying half price drinks would likely do the job down there by the sea. Unfortunately, I can't pick the bar up and move it, so what else can be done?

Ticketing or flyering, advertising a business is not allowed here. Both the person handing out the tickets, and the business can be fined if caught, and I'm not really down on breaking the law for the sake of my place of work. The fine would be something like a 6 week power-down - no thank you.

It's now 8:12, still no custom. I wonder if I'll be able to write all I want before I am required to do anything else. Even though my hourly rate is the equivalent of a 15 year old stacking shelves in Asda, I still feel a bit guilty that I'm sat here doing nothing. Seriously though, I've done all my jobs and there is nothing to do.

Across the road there is a Spanish bar, that one looks fairly busy, and I bet the drinks are twice the price right now. Mid paragraph, I've changed the music - I'm now listening to a Spanish radio channel.

Aha! Customers! And they are Welsh too! Two vodka and cokes coming right up! I feel like dedicating this blog to these guys, who'd heard a rumour there was a Welsh bar near their hotel. A shame they didn't find the place earlier, it's their last night, but at least they arrived during happy hour(s). Two vodkas, one coke to mix, 8 seconds pour time, 3 ice cubes....

Whoa, it's twenty to ten, where did the last hour go? Oh yeah, this couple bent my ear off, and two more Welsh couples arrived too. They were all pleasantly surprised to hear that it is happy hour. Personally, I'm not convinced they all had no idea.

And the boss is back, which means It is time for me to clock off. I'm taking advantage of the onsite oven, and supermarket next door - pizza time, and the dog has come inside to see me. It's probably time for her dinner, my last task before I head home.


Hang on a minute, it's still happy hour(s). Go on then, I'll have one bottle of beer before I head home.

Chat to you all soon!


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I realize it's early days yet for The Cwtch... here are a few free-flow ideas from a business owner in a tourist town, halfway across the globe.

Off-season is a good time to ramp the social media presence; these days a lot of people use their smartphones to figure out where to go when they are on holiday.

"Claim" the business on Yelp.
I already see a few reviews on TripAdvisor; that's good.
I see a Facebook page; that's good! Get a matching twitter and auto-populate the twitter with the Facebook posts.
Claim the business with Google Business/Google maps; make sure The Cwtch controls what's ON the Google listing... it's free.
Develop your unique "gimmick:" could be anything... "Mallorca's ONLY bar without a vovel!"
You can program your credit card machine to include verbiage like "Enjoyed your evening with us? Why not give us a review on TripAdvisor!" Or "Follow us on Facebook!"
Make it easy for people; add the QC code directly on the sales slip.
Try to go after the local ex-pat clients during the winter; develop it as a local watering hole. Frequent the ex-pat forums on the web; I'm sure there's one or more for Mallorca... people like to frequent places where they "know people."
Way back in the when when I lived in Spain, there was a local bar owned by an English lady... she managed to turn part of the bar into an English-language book exchange/library. That alone was good for 20+ drinks a day.

Of course, I know it's not your bar... just thinking out loud.


Thank you @denmarkguy, these are some excellent ideas!

The boss isn't that au fait with this kind of thing, but I will certainly look at the list above and work my way through it as soon as possible. She will be impressed, and this could even earn me a small pay-rise!

Thank you!


I used to own a restaurant/bar and have to say these are some good ideas @denmarkguy!

I can't pick the bar up and move it, so what else can be done?

Serving drinks walking around in thong will get the place packed with hard-of-hearing grannies in no time I guess.



Full of great ideas! I would... but the weather has gone cold in the evenings, a thong might not be ideal at present 😳

It's a very new business, still! Hopefully the owner realizes it's not going to happen overnight... much like getting known on Steemit!


Indeed :)

Yeah she's not throwing the towel in just yet, the old bar was known to do better in the winter months. The name will hopefully spread and we'll gain a few more people over the winter months as many bars are closed during this time. Cheers Cat.

Hi Asher it's in a shit position. location,location,location. Need a big breasted model with a tshirt with the name of the bar and the directions on the back.


I'm going to have to stop you at the need for a big breasted model..... ok, concentration regained 😊

Yes, the location is a huge deal I think, I'm not sure what we can do really. I've been advertising on FaceCrook, but not sure how many OAPs use it 😊

I fancy a pre-bedtime Malibu and Coke now. Bad idea..


Don't tell the boss but that's exactly what I had whilst she was gone! I had to test the new bottle - Malibu clones are suspect, but it was good enough 😁

If they allow live music, maybe hire a scottish bagpipe player, make sure all the welsh people know he or she is Scottish, then hire an Irish Folk singer to sing along with the Scottish bagpipe player. Then make sure you have some what is it they call haggish and cheese or something like that on the menu, made by a pretty English wench. That should at least wake up the Welsh in the neighborhood


The jukebox is mine! Music is certainly allowed, although it could be tough to find a bagpipe player. I'd love to hear the pipes bellowing of the place though, I do appreciate that instrumen!


I have always liked the sound of the bagpipes, ever since I was a kid.

Happy you were getting paid to write a post for us! Too bad it was a slow night!


Every cloud has a silver lining!

Being able to write a post is a real bonus, I'm quite tired today and so glad I could share something before I get home and probably fall asleep.

Hopefully as the winter draws im, and the other bars close, business will pick up here. Thanks for visiting!


Word of mouth may be your best bet for advertising! Has the owner gone to all the area guest houses and introduced herself? I hope things pick up!

Well while you were sitting there doing nothing @abh12345 you could have looked at my post with pictures of my journey to Gozo. 😂

Steemit is like The Cwtch tonight . . . empty.

Hope business picks up soon. Enjoy your beer! 😊


I should have done that, you are right!

My phone looks (with new chunky case) and acts at the speed of a tortoise, making Steem navigation a total pain.

Excuses out of the way, I'll trundle on over 😁


Aw. No need @abh12345. Enjoy your beer! 😁

You don't want to get all frustrated by a slow internet now you've finished your shift.

Hi Asher! Denmark guy gave dome great tips! And, it sounds like you might need to learn how to play the bagpipes....and wear a kilt 😉 Haha! A poster of a shiny handsome man serving up drinks next to the big breasted woman might entice another section of the crowd! Or maybe the crowd prefers a 420 friendly place to congregate! Will be interesting to see what happens in that regard when doobies become legal means of recreation in Canada in a few days. 🙏 common peeps! Go to Cwtch for your good times!!! 🤞✌🥂

I voted your content because you are on my whitelist.

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Sorry there weren't many customers. At least it meant that you had some time to get on Steemit. And Steemit's working post-HF20, so it's important to take advantage of it while we can.


Yeah,I shouldn't complain, now I've learned the ropes though it would be cool to be busier.

It's working right? 😊

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God blesh the Welsh!!

Okay that was a terrible joke.

It is just a matter of time though. Consistently good service is the best Marketing anyone can do

There's a very important comment waiting for you here, don't miss it please :) The Curation and Engagement Leagues 🏆 - STEEM prizes & steem-bounty available! 🎁


Found it, thanks @erikah :D

@abh12345, Yes, it's unfortunate that the bar is empty and it's also unfortunate that you'll cannot promote. Good to see that here you have an dog at least you will not going to feel the essence of Boredom. Have a great time ahead.

Wishing you an great day and stay blessed. 🙂

Asher, a question for you! When you tally up depth of comments does a 14 deep comment count the same as a 3 deep comment?

Vodka and coke? Who are these people?! :)

So advertising like flyers is illegal! That's really interesting; does that include sandwich boards too? sidewalk advertising?

I like that the dog hangs out there too!

I know that this is not the point of your post, but don't you find it painful working on your phone?! :)

Hmm - great that u could share with us but slow is not great for business. Maybe some tapas is needed - I have a simple but delicious spanish tortilla recipe? Judt kidding. I saw you receive some great tips.

You got a 36.14% upvote from @ocdb courtesy of @abh12345!

The evenings when we had no customers at the restaurant were the worst I could handle...I don't like boring and waiting, and being paid for doing nothing is not my preference either... ;-)
What I enjoy when working as waitress is the fact that you never look at your watch wondering when it is finished, because you are always doing something and time flies fast ^_^