Gender expression and gender identity are not necessarily the same thing and I feel like there's a confusion in this about that. For example I am male, I used to enjoy typically feminine things growing up and I still do. I love the colour pink and wearing glitter, I speak and act in a flamboyant way. I'm still a man. Liking gendered things and doing things that are typical of certain genders doesn't change how you feel mentally. I know plenty of other trans guys who love feminine things but they're still 100% male. I also feel like this is a topic that trans people have to talk about and answer for much more than cis people. If a cis girl likes masculine things then it's normal and fine but if a trans girl does it then suddenly her whole gender identity is called into question.
Your statement about trans women not being women without fear of sexual violence is inflammatory and ignorant of the extremely high rates of sexual violence against transgender women. It also assumes that a fundamental part of being a woman is based around a fear of male violence.
Dysphoria isn't confusion it's a feeling of discomfort, of dissonance. For me it's the feeling I get when I look at my body and don't see what I should be seeing and the intense feelings of nausea that come along with it. Dysphoria is medical as well as psychological and has profound physical and mental side effects.
Also the "locker room" conversation. I was AFAB and so my body looks female, but the rest of me doesn't. I know a lot of trans men who "pass" as male, but with this conversation no one mentions how as a by-product these actual men would be forced into women's spaces. Your fear of transgender women is consequentially pushing men into women's bathrooms and changing areas.
Finally on the note that there are more transgender women than transgender men, this again isn't necessarily true. We hear more about trans women and they are seen more in tv or movies etc as well as in the media. However I know far more trans men than women, they just tend to "pass" better and go "stealth" at a much higher rate and tend to be less dramatised and focused on, making it appear like there aren't as many. In reality the difference in numbers is much smaller than appears.
"Gender expression and gender identity are not necessarily the same thing and I feel like there's a confusion in this about that."
Exactly. Say it loud for the people in the back.
"I also feel like this is a topic that trans people have to talk about and answer for much more than cis people."
I'm addressing the media portrayals more than anything, but I agree wholeheartedly that these are questions we as a community must answer, not as some rite of passage or validation, but privately within ourselves.
"Dysphoria isn't confusion it's a feeling of discomfort, of dissonance. For me it's the feeling I get when I look at my body and don't see what I should be seeing and the intense feelings of nausea that come along with it. Dysphoria is medical as well as psychological and has profound physical and mental side effects."
My point here is that it is either a mental health problem or it isn't. We can't have it both ways. If it is, then we have to ask if HRT and/or surgeries are really the best treatment options. If it isn't, then it's either a medical problem that isn't mental health or it's not a medical problem and thus insurance shouldn't cover the costs of treatment. I'm not saying there aren't mental health implications, just that most of them result from society's perception and treatment of transgender people.
"Your statement about trans women not being women without fear of sexual violence is inflammatory and ignorant of the extremely high rates of sexual violence against transgender women. It also assumes that a fundamental part of being a woman is based around a fear of male violence."
My context wasn't dismissal of the extremely high rates of sexual violence against transgender women. It was actually reinforcing it as comparable to that of other women, and to observe the difference that people like Caitlyn Jenner do not have to live with it whether they want to or not. I believe it is a life experience, not something that can be bought or chosen. In western cultures, part of being a woman is, sadly, based around fear of male violence.