Top 3 Lessons Learned After A Mistake Amongst Friends
Recently, I have become the target of a smear campaign over a sequence of events that has already been corrected. Somehow, despite my best efforts, I became the focal point of hatred for people who I trusted with my most fragile self. Here is what I learned in the mean face of friendships that go sour.
1. Money Changes The Heart - even in the noblest of leaders.
No matter how safe you feel, when it comes to money, people see with different eyes then the eyes of friendship. The view becomes distorted when money is involved. If there is a deficit or a loss, sometimes people get very paranoid and mean.
If you are not prepared for a metaphorical lashing it really hurts, and stings.
2. Angry people might use their power to hurt those they feel have done them wrong.
When I screw up I tend to accept bad treatment as “deserved punishment”.
Not anymore. I have existed as a groveling and apologetic underling for a long enough and it sucks. People lose more respect for you when you act as a willing doormat. Nobody wants to eat shit on a spoon. Nor do they deserve to be fed that crap. Stand tall and never let anyone string you along. If someone tries to drag you through the mud to give you what they think “you deserve” - be careful. These types of people are the most harmful and venomous at this stage because they aim for the softest point and try to break you.
If someone uses their position of power to force someone to behave a certain way “or else” - it is a form of abuse of power. Guilting someone into action has the same affect. It’s called extortion and it is a crime.
Watch out for these moments because If you don’t take steps to protect yourself you will be vulnerable to becoming what feels like ... a personal belonging or an object for the dominant minded type who thinks you owe them. They may justify ruthless behavior using their anger as the fuel. It can get ugly very quickly. Use caution when deciding just how sorry you are.
Nobody deserves to be bullied.
3. FORGIVENESS IS RARE -
If you have done something regrettable no matter how you try to repair the problems caused by your actions, no matter how sincere you are... often times people don’t care. They aren’t “buying it”. Sadly, if things seem fine and dandy, it isn’t likely that the forgiveness is genuine.
People just don’t care once they feel offended. Especially if your mistake cost them any amount of money or if their is a perceived loss caused by you. Sorry, the truth is... they don’t often really forgive you and they are hiding their animosity. Take cover! Seriously!
Nothing hurts as much as a knife in the back from the people who pretend to forgive you.
It may be time to let the universe carry you to your next project. Seriously. If you meet resistance when trying to walk away, share this article with those people. Blame me. Everyone else does, so you might as well too. 😝
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Last thought: be true to your heart, but remember to protect yourself also. Even if you fuck up royally, you are a human. The fact that you have tried to make up for your misgivings is enough in the eyes of the only judges who matter- and whatever you believe in - lean into those beliefs when you feel abandoned. People will remember what they want to. Don’t let this slow you down. You don’t have to punish yourself anymore! People are not supposed to punish each other.
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Thank you for reading my 3 lessons and I hope it helps you some day!
Your points are well written and clear. I agree with all of them.
Thanks for sharing.
True! I guess I still feel this way till date tho.. #Sobs
Thanks.. And these words too, they mean a lot.
I think I can relate with every part of your story. Once in a while, we have been in those shoes. And your sense of encouragement/edification is laudable.
I learnt from this.
I'm grateful @lorilikes.
Thanks for sharing..
Glad it helped.
I once read a story and a quote I got from it and would never forget was "you get to know how a man feels towards you when he is angry; whatever he spits out, never forget them".
And honestly it is very true..
@lorilikes, I know how you feel dear. I hope you feel better now.
I'm glad you encouraged yourself. If you ask me, that's the best medicine.
Kisses...
Thank you, glad you are here. :)
Wow! Like this holds a thousand lessons.
No one is perfect, no one is all-knowing. Sometimes, we make mistakes, we have flaws too, that makes us humans.
Criticism is normal, but bullying or standing in another is abnormal.
The crux is making right what we have wronged and setting the records straight (if we can still do that), and whatever people say or people's judgement, it doesn't count...
@lorilikes, this post is really epic. I love it..
Awesome knowing my hard days help someone. ♥️
If we have positive things we learnt from from negative experience. Then the experience is a school master. Everybody has some ups and downs. Sometimes caused by our wrong decisions, actions or inactions. Take responsibilities? Yes! Allow a friend or foe take advantage of that? Hell No. Sometimes the people we call friends are the problems. No every one that act friendship are worthy to be called friends. Wolves in sheep clothing. Who would believe that Judas Iscarioth would betray Jesus Christ. There are also those I call fare weather friends. They wont stand with you in your downtime. We should our friends wisely and draw a line. There so called friends I cant trust my daughter with. True!
On how money affects people's life, the bible I read says "the love of money is the root of ALL evil......." What you love controls you.
Yesterday is gone my friend and gone forever. Thank God we have today to do our best. Tomorrow lies in his hands. BELIEVE THIS.
Great comforting words . Thank you. Amen ! ✨
Personally, I've been a victim of bullying.
Took me a while tho to get over those involved and the while scene.
But when I got up, it made me stronger.
That's the beauty of falling.
You learn the best lessons when you are down. And your scars, they become really beautiful.
I appreciate your post my dear friend.
I learnt from it and I hope others learn from it too.
Great wisdom in your words, darling. Amazing. ✨⭐️
That sucks! A toxic work environment can just suck the life out of you. When you go in there every day because you're earning money to pay bills, you can feel trapped. I've been at jobs where I was gossiped about and it hurt. I'm sorry that your coworkers are being bullies. Adults should know better, but somehow we end up being more petty than children. What's up with that?!
Former coworkers. Yes they quickly ganged up on me. It’s an opportunity for me. Now that I have stopped crying (that’s all I did for the last 5 days is cry and cry )
I am seeing clearly the opportunity that is coming to me thanks to the bad ending I am experiencing... who knew that such misfortune could lead to the next chapter. Poison is poison and I just don’t want poison anymore. I wil miss them though. I will miss the boss. He was so cool, it’s probably the reason it kinda hurts so much since he is the one who really dug the knife in my back the most. I really looked up to him. I am still in disbelief. Not to mention how fast they all just spat their hate at me so easily without any hesitation or second thought. These are people I cherished and would never do such things to them. It’s heartbreaking really.
I'm really sorry. You had to go through tough times and lose your job and friends. That's not a good week at all! :(
I don't know why people like to gang up on others like that. Maybe because it makes them feel better. It's terrible though, as you've experienced. It sounds like you're moving on in a positive way though.
Hopefully whatever is next will be a place you can heal.
Thanks bud. Yes it has been a shattering week. I will be stronger for it at the end of the day ⭐️🌈
Good for you! I know it's not easy to remain positive, but you're going to be better for it in the long-run if you can keep that positive, determined attitude. :)
thanks for sharing such valuable lessons my friend. keep moving on. Big trees always get storm and sun shine, that why they come to be stronger. thanks @lorilikes. I like a change on your wallpaper.
Sounds to me like you had some crappy things done to you, but will come out stronger for it in the end. Good for you.
Probably not a good time to bug you about the chain story is it? ;)
You're so right, I've had so many bad episodes for the money that honestly doesn't give me the head to argue, talking about the moments when we're upset and the words are raging, to start managing a serious self-control is the right thing to do, but it's a difficult tool to apply, in short the world will be better when we can communicate openly and without fear and avoiding that they only remember what they want to remember, which is nothing more than what they want to remember, which is what they want to remember.