Fucking Stupid Laws

Our society is littered with daft laws, a concoction of people trying to push their agendas upon us, the good people of the world.

There's some obviously silly laws that stand out like the death penalty for being gay in some middle Eastern countries. But that's not my focus today.

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Jaywalking

^{Let's start with an often overlooked law that takes us over to the states.}

Who's fucking idea was it to make crossing a road illegal? It wasn't authoritarian lefties like you may think; quite the opposite actually.

Jaywalking was a law brought in by lobbyists for the car manufacturers. Truly a wolf in sheep's clothing, it seems like a law made to keep people safe, but realistically it enforces right-of-way for cars.

Everywhere else in the world follows a right-of-way for pedestrians, but Jaywalking means if someone walks into the road, you don't need to slow down, and if you hit them you're off the hook as they were committing a criminal offence.

Murica: The only place where two ton, super fast machines have priority over humans.

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I think most of these daft laws are ones where governments dictate what we can and can't do with our own bodies. We're not their property, what happened to civil liberty?
^{Which brings me onto...}

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Drug-related offences

If I want to eat unhealthy food, I should be allowed to, because it's my body, my property. The one thing we should never have let them have is exclusive control over what we can do to the only physical thing that represents us; our bodies.

Say I want a tattoo or a piercing, I can get one, but in many cases such as court hearings, the way you look could affect the outcome, and in effect, your life.

Drugs are in a worse situation though. They have a massive stigma, especially with older generations. You can get arrested for consuming a chemical. Fuck me, man, I'm not allowed to put a chemical into my own body? I think I might just do it as an act of rebellion now more than anything else.

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Weird little old english laws

Some dating back to th 1200s, these laws have never been repealed and are still enforced in england to this very day. Some are more modern, and some make a lot of practical sense, but they're all bizzare

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• Carrying a plank along a pavement
• Flying a kite or sliding on ice or snow whilst in the street
• Entering the Houses of Parliament in a suit of armour
• Dying in the Houses of Parliament
• Keeping a pigsty in front of your house - unless duly hidden
• Erecting a washing line across any street
• Beating or shaking any carpet or rug in any street. However, beating or shaking a doormat is allowed before 8am
• In London, riding the bus (knowingly) with the Plague
• Handling a salmon in suspicious circumstances
• Being intoxicated and in charge of a horse or cow
• Wilfully and wantonly disturbing people by ringing their doorbells or knocking at their doors
• Firing a cannon within 300 yards of a dwelling house
• Jumping the queue in the Tube ticket hall
• Gambling in a library
• Removing a dead whale found on the British coast - since it automatically becomes the property of the ruling monarch
• For a pub landlord, allowing drunkenness in their pub
• In Scotland, turning someone away if they knock on your door and require the use of your loo
• Allowing your pet copulate with any pet from the Royal House
• Importing into England potatoes which you suspect to be Polish
• As of 1998, causing a nuclear explosion
• It is legal for a male to urinate in public as long as it's on the rear wheel of his motor vhehicle and his right arm is inside the car
• Placing a postage stamp bearing the monarchs head upside-down on an envelope is considered an act of treason
• You must carry a bale of hay in your car at all times
• It is illegal to eat mince pies on christmas day
• By law, it is legal for a pregnant woman to relieve herself anywhere she wishes, even a policemans hat
• It is illegal for a woman to eat chocolate on a public conveyance
• It is illegal to eat a mute swan unless you'e the queen of great britain

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That list was... oddly specific. Almost personal to whoever brought them in.

The list goes on as well, and it just goes to prove a point that I made earlier, just because something is illegal dosen't mean it's morally or ethicall wrong. And vice-versa, just because something is legal, dosen't mean it's right.

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To sum it all up

Most laws aren't really enforceable at all, making them more akin to guidelines. God forbid we attempt to make an AI policebot and I'm drunk in a pub without a bale of hay in my car after a good day of gambling in the library and letting my dog hump Elizabeth's chuaua.