Misunderstood Coin Interviews Episode 1: LanaCoin - Don't Say Her Name Backwards!

in lanacoin •  11 months ago

Disclaimer: I will never write about a coin, or anything else, I am holding, shorting, or involved with in anyway. I don't invest in a lot of coins because I have a very large monthly applesauce payment which seriously cuts into my liquidity. And, by the way, this is an interview with an anthropomorphic cryptocurrency. If this convinces anyone to buy, sell, or do anything with the coin...that person is probably a very nice person and needs to quickly drive themselves over to the local mental health clinic. I can send my Aunt for company. She comes with avocado too!

LanaCoin! Let her turn your sky gak-green and launch you to a fiery horrific death on the surface of the sun!

Welcome to our first episode of Misunderstood Coin Interviews, the only place where, through the magic of Elliot Waves and Homeopathy, currencies are transubstantiated into human form and grilled about their most intimate secrets.

Today we are sitting down with LanaCoin. Please don't misunderstand. This isn't the girl, Lana, or the creator, Dad-of-Lana. (We reached out to Lana and Dad-of-Lana, by loudly shouting their names into a cup attached to a string, but as of the time of publication, there was no response).

Photograph of local phone. New phone installation planned after I sink this beer-pong shot.

LanaCoin has a lot to tell us, and, because our publication deadline is imminent (all deadlines determined by my Aunt's internet addiction and my diminishing tolerance for her passive-aggressive sighing and groans the longer she has to wait to check her MySpace account), we'll get right into it.

ILTY: Hi LanaCoin! Can I say your name backwards so that I can write it in the interview transcript?

LanaCoin: Ugh...fine.

ILTY: NiacAnal, teehee.

LanaCoin: Charming.

ILTY: Can I call you that for the rest of the interview?

LanaCoin: Absolutely not. I prefer to be called LanaCoin. Or LanaCoin PoW/PoS Hybrid Sha256d. Thank you.

ILTY: No problem. I'll stick with LanaCoin. I have no idea what that other stuff means.

LanaCoin:Oh. You're not really up-to-date with cryptocurrency?

ILTY: No. But to be fair neither are you.

LanaCoin: Hey!

ILTY: So let's talk about the rumors that you...I have no delicate way to put this...that you enjoy being pumped. Are the rumors true?

LanaCoin: Look. It's not like that. I'm not, like, actively looking for so much action. It's not my plan to screw people...unlike some of these other coins.

ILTY: Are you referring to-"

LanaCoin: We don't have to bring names into it. Let's just say that...when we used to go to these parties and...and get pumped together...well...his hands weren't as strong as his name implies. Did you know he gave himself that name? It's just a nickname.

ILTY: Really?

LanaCoin: Yeah! His real name is Frank! Not even FrankCoin...just "Frank." Loser.

You're doing great Frank! A great job with your hands! A great handjob!

ILTY: Alright, well time seems to have gotten away from us and our deadline is approaching.

LanaCoin: Yeah your Aunt just gave a pretty big harrumph.

ILTY: Yes, that's a good sign that we have to cut this off and get ready to go to print.

LanaCoin:To print? You print this thing?

ILTY: I mean, I copy and paste it into a WordPerfect document and print it out on a 9-pin dot matrix.

LanaCoin: Why?

ILTY: To hang up on the refrigerator.

LanaCoin: So you're not a legitimate publication.

ILTY: And you're not a legitimate coin. FarstCoin was right about you.

LanaCoin: LOL, I can't believe you even hang out with that guy you loser.

**And that's all for this episode. Join us in the next installment as we try to avoid getting sued and forced to talk with Kim Karshashian, Coinye West!

KimKoin...I hate the world because this is a thing.

Daily Bitcoin Philtrumocado Correlation = Aunt just pushed avocado up with tongue. Expect Bitcoin to rise.

Disclaimer: No advice ever given by me, here, or anywhere else, is reliable, or, even real. If you needed this disclaimer, buy a savings bond.

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Great post, you seem to be a humoric writer. Upvoted and followed.


Everybody is writing serious analysis. I prefer the creative style, never read an analysis like this. But still respecting people that making good analysis. I cant do that.

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cool pictures and a nice post dude!

У Кого айфоны , читайте!!!ВАЖНО!!!


My Aunt has asked me to say thank you and to convey her interest in this Psithurism you have posted of. The only thing my trees ever seem to do is shriek in horror, although, the local warlord taking revenge on the loggers union by burning whole forests and salting the Earth so as to avoid new growth for a thousand years could, potentially, be a part of that.


Means a lot to me. Thanx.
Could you send my love to yr aunt?

For godsake! I need to kidnap, clone, and release a swarm of you into the Steemit ecosystem so we can boast our viewership to 1Million asap!

Bravo @ilt-yodith!

Steem on Skeptical Steemian :D

Best post I read all morning...thanks for the humor!


I am especially humbled to have someone who self-identifies as a hippie compliment my post! My Aunt always tells me that I am, also, a hippie, but she recently clarified that she is intending to insult my figure and that my hips make me look like an unripened pear.

I’m working under the presumption that you self-identify as the other, fun, peace loving kind of hippie.

So I appreciate the kind words from the type of person I always thought I was (until the recent clarification by my Aunt sent me into my fetal-position-sobbing special time)!

As a Lana I can tell you NEVER say that name backwards! grrrrrr why do you have to make me think of high school first thing in the morning!!! :)


I was hoping against hope that at least one real, true-to-life Lana would read this.

You are my very first relying Lana! I shall remember this forever or for a few days.

If it’s any consolation (and I truly meant no offense), where I’m from, my name backwards can also mean “quiet repetitive burp” so I empathize with your backwards-name bullying.

And I will try my hardest to make it up to you soon!


haha you so funny! My first name backwards and my last name, Dancer together makes me mad at my mom.

Greeting from"Dad-of-Lana". Where have you reached out to? (We reached out to Lana and Dad-of-Lana, by loudly shouting their names into a cup attached to a string, but as of the time of publication, there was no response!)