I FELT I HAD TO "SAVE" EVERYONE

I didn't mean to. It just comes naturally. I was pretty offensive to a friend who was offering their love and trust. I just got a little intoxicated with my own sense of self importance. What else is new?

My good friend would come and visit. Bring little treats she had offered to her deities and I would make a lunch. It was good fun. Sometimes we would chant together or read. Who could ask for a better friend?

Then I felt I had to save everyone. Ha. Ha. Stomped all over my good friend. Ha. Ha. Maybe this is like a mad elephant offense? Now she is avoiding me. Wonder why? I am over the intoxicated state and punar musika bhava has set in.

I messaged my friend if they could please come for lunch explaining what a stupid idiot I am. I didn't hear from them and just went ahead preparing chapatis, quinoa, rutabagas, yogurt salad. It's actually a tasty lunch. Waiting for them to arrive to offer everything. I was thinking the whole time I was cooking for the Lord that she might not show up. Especially since I hadn't heard from them. Maybe they were out somewhere on errands or had another invitation. Or maybe they just weren't ready to deal with an elephant and deciding if they ever really wanted to deal the elephant again.

So as the time flew past "lunch time" I fasted and thought how wonderful Krishna consciousness is. I was thinking of the mood of separation. How the gopis would make flower garlands for the Lord but He was not there. How they cried. It's not a far-fetched comparison. I can get at least some sense of the mood.

It will be interesting to see how this resolves. Has my friend washed their hands? As I have done so many times to others who have been just a little too much for me to deal with. Wishing them well from a distance.

If they have given up on the friendship I am still enriched so much by whatever transacted between us and now this painful lesson. I never know what the next painful lesson will be, I had no idea really that it would be this one. I am grateful. It is beautiful.

Dear Lord Krishna... we are not isolationists. How to interact in Krishna consciousness is our biggest challenge. At least it is my biggest challenge.