Occasionally Using Kratom after Quitting
Fellow Kratom Addict,
Considering the incredible amount of harm drugs cause, it’s maddening to understand why they remain so popular. Are addicts delusional in denying the harmful effects of drugs? Can drug users actually lie to themselves that well; believing they are immune to the known dangers of substance abuse? Or possibly, users are aware of the effects and simply enjoy harming themselves? Even some captive animals habitually participate in self-harm. Maybe it’s just an instinctual impulse handed down to us from our ancestors. Regardless of what the answers may be, the risks of drug use are not worth the rewards. Even the habitual use of kratom can produce very unpleasant side effects and stress–which is likely the reason why you’re reading this article, on www.QuitKratom.com
Addiction and self-harm is universal, and it’s nothing new. There’s evidence opium was being abused 5,000 years ago, and there are dozens of examples of wild animals seeking out inebriating substances. We don’t yet understand what psychological and sociological conditions contribute to such urges. Obviously, drugs seem to mask pain and change our perception of reality. There’s no way of saying exactly what drives all addictive or destructive behaviors. But what we can definitively say is, drug addiction is real and quitting drug use is scary as hell! Even if the drug is the relatively safe herb, mitragyna speciosa (kratom), it’s good to have support when the time comes to stop using.
Some may say I’m exaggerating, but kratom is an insidious little bastard. It’s not as dangerous or as intoxicating as many other substances. It’s legal in most places. And it has has this reassuring quality of “naturalness.” For me, kratom initially seemed to be a benign substance. I would often use it without anyone suspecting l was under the influence of a drug. But I came to realize, kratom is not much different from other drugs. Why? Because when I first started using kratom, I was in control. I used it on occasion, and there were little to no side effects. But as I continued to use, kratom took total control of me. The cravings, tolerance, and withdrawal symptoms slapped me around effortlessly. My emotional state was dictated by an herb. I was at the mercy of a stupid, gross tasting, plant-powder. When I began using kratom, it made me feel better than normal; in fact, it made me feel great! However, once tolerance built, I needed a hefty dose just to keep me from feeling moody, angry–and eventually–suicidal.
Often times I thought recreational use of kratom was alright. I thought I still had control. But like Trojan horse of Greek mythology, kratom found a sneaky method to deceive my rational mind and proved more powerful than I expected. Every time I thought I could use recreationally, I found myself back in the pattern of habitual use and self-doubt.
After kratom is ingested, the plant’s chemicals (alkoloids), begin to cross the blood-brain barrier. The brain reacts by producing large quantities of neurotransmitters, such as serotonin, dopamine, and adrenaline. The user then experiences the cascading effects of the drug; physical and mental stimulation, euphoria, and a sense of wellbeing. But once the “high” has dissipated, the brain is left in an imbalanced state, and attempts to restructure itself to regain normal function. As a result of the chemical and structural changes in the brain, the user is often left with an unpleasant feeling. And with repeated use, a sense of craving and dissatisfaction will become common. Ultimately, when a regular kratom user discontinues their use, they will experience psychological and physical suffering until their brain can regain balance.
Healing from kratom (opioid) addiction is a very slow process. When I finally quit (for good), I had to be patient and accept the pain, cravings, and depression that lasted several months. I thought about using again nearly everyday, and I kept considering if recreational use would work for me. However, I knew from previous failures that I must not give-in to the urge. During this time, it was important that I had someone to keep me from making a bad decision. I must say, “thank you” to my supportive wife who got rid of my massive supply and talked me out of using at least 100 times. I owe her something special. Because of my hard work and my supportive wife’s help, I once again find satisfaction in other activities besides habitual drug use. And it feels amazing!
The initial high of drug use is not worth the suffering on the backend of addiction. Once the suffering begins, the user realizes he or she has made a mistake. This is a truth I have found about addictive drugs–and it’s a truth I have learned the hard way. I should have chose to be sober and face my life without a chemical crutch. But you know what they say, “hindsight is 20/20,” right?
It’s easy to look back and say what we should have done. I’m sure, just like me, when you started using kratom, you had no idea it was a Trojan horse. Although kratom use lead me into a mental health crisis, during my time of recovery, I have discovered many things about myself. And for that, I am grateful. I’ve found meditation and Yoga to be a very important tools in managing my self-destructive urges. I’ve learned to face reality and to feel grateful for my sobriety. I learned to enjoy the natural endorphins my brain produces from a workout or spending a day in the sun. I enjoy life again–and in some ways–more than I ever have. I didn’t believe I would, but I do. So keep up the good fight, my friend! You’ll be glad you did!
P.S. You already know, kratom (or any addictive drugs) will never be something we can use recreationally. 😉
Written by TewPoint0