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RE: Knacksteem for investors and the talented

in #knacksteem6 years ago

So much about this post is super great. It's an extensive, well reasoned, comprehensive overview of Knacksteem's and the project's ambitions. It's a great call to investors, developers, and creatives alike to come take part. I really respect the work done here.

The thing separating this post from being fantastic is the issue of style, grammar, and proofreading. I'm going to cite some examples of issues I had.

  • "Knacksteem is a decentralized community built on the steem blockchain which creates an avenue, platform or medium for people with certain amazing abilities and talents to showcase their talents not only as a means of advertising what they are skillful at but also making it possible for them to get compensated with tangible rewards" is one sentence. That's already a style issue, because good gods is it long. It could, and should, be broken up. And the paragraph should have more than one comma. This is an issue of making your pitch easier to read. Lemme see how I would edit it:

"Knacksteem is a decentralized community built on the Steem blockchain. It is a platform for people with amazing abilities and talents to showcase their talents, and get compensated with tangible rewards." Shorter. Easier to read. Without several redundant words.

  • "Knacksteem although being an online community will however in no doubt affect physically the lives of several individuals all over the world." This is needlessly complex. How about "While Knacksteem is an online community, we have no doubt that it will affect the lives of individuals all over the world." The word "physically" is both redundant and wrong. If you have to add something there, you could use "materially."

  • "Knacksteem is created to reward extra-ordinary talented individuals and averagely talented individuals all the same." This sentence is a mess, I'm afraid. Starting with the word "is" where you should either have "was" or "is being." And the rest is convoluted. Lemme edit: "Knacksteem was created to reward individuals, both those who have unique talents, and those with common abilities." I changed "averagely talented" because it feels kind of insulting.

These examples are your first three paragraphs. Are they blatantly wrong? For the most part, no. But they could be much clearer, much better written. You undercut your excellent message with writing that could have used a quick edit. Knacksteem is a Utopian project. @knowledges is a key Utopian person. Next time you have a major post like this, ask. I'll happily go over it, and have another moderator review it. I've done it for other Utopian folks.

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Thanks for the feedback. :)
I will consider pinging you next time.
You are awesome

Thank you for this details

Thank you for your review, @didic!

So far this week you've reviewed 11 contributions. Keep up the good work!

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