@JamesGetsIt's Kill The Pad Challenge Wk # 1: "Stop Bullying" (Original Verse/Poem)
Verse Without Gifs (For Verse With Gifs, Scroll Below)
The heavy words, the violent pain, memories darken, the brain it swarms
Humiliated, devastated, makes you wish you weren't born
Truly jaded, hella hatred, broken pieces, heart is torn...
Beaten up from day to night, and never taught to face and fight
Their self esteem will truly drop, like tear drops as their body drops
They're so finished, light's diminished, thinking that their life's a menace...
A vicious circle, eyes purple, black and blue, with short fuse
I just didn't understand, clenched fists, misusing hands
All I wanted was the love, but inner hatred had my plans...
Tryna knock my head off, a heavy elbow guillotine
I was jumped and oppressed, over slumped and depressed
Then I found my inner strength, my music puts it to the test...
Verse With Gifs
The heavy words, the violent pain, memories darken, the brain it swarms
Humiliated, devastated, makes you wish you weren't born
Truly jaded, hella hatred, broken pieces, heart is torn...
Beaten up from day to night, and never taught to face and fight
Their self esteem will truly drop, like tear drops as their body drops
They're so finished, light's diminished, thinking that their life's a menace...
A vicious circle, eyes purple, black and blue, with short fuse
I just didn't understand, clenched fists, misusing hands
All I wanted was the love, but inner hatred had my plans...
Tryna knock my head off, a heavy elbow guillotine
I was jumped and oppressed, over slumped and depressed
Then I found my inner strength, my music puts it to the test...
Thank you for reading & viewing this post in its entirety, I hope you enjoyed it for what it's worth.
All Gifs used from Giphy.com
Next Post coming tomorrow
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My very own wonderful gif logo provided to me by the generous and kindhearted @papa-pepper Thanks again very much!
Yea man, this is really dope.
Content was very cool. The gifs and photos definitely went a long way in delivering the content. I like how you went over the gist of bullying as a whole in the first 8 bars, and then the second you zoomed in on personal experience. That was cool. Content was 100% dope.
While I did like the use of gifs, photos, etc, I feel it took away from the structure of the verse. It helped make a point, but as a rap verse, I was looking for continuity of rhyme, scheme, etc. The way the gifs broke it up made it feel more on the side of poetry or spoken word than rap.
The scheme was cool, it was mostly end rhymes, which is the norm for story telling pieces. I would have liked to see a bit more rap cadence and less poetry. It did have consistent multiple end rhymes throughout each bar. Which is cool and lends to a nice flow.
I was bullied and abused, then would bully and abuse
A vicious circle, eyes purple, black and blue, with short fuse
I just didn't understand, clenched fists, misusing hands
All I wanted was the love, but inner hatred had my plans...
My favorite bars. It flowed very nice.
You spoke on the topic the whole way through. Very consistent and on point. DIG IT!
Thank you for joining in on this weeks #killthepad challenge!!
You're most welcome bro Thanks for the review.
Some of the best rap verses are poetry, take Tupac for example :)
I can perform this verse no problem
Rap cadence is hard to read and interpret when it is not being performed when all of us emcees have a different flow and rhythmic approach and structure to our writing process.
I can never assume if a verse at the eye level test is more poetic than the ability to add rap cadence because it is all dependent on the rapper's delivery level. I am sure you will agree on that note.
But I am glad you liked this one, I have added just only the verse above without gifs, and when you scroll down you get the verse again with gifs. I'll be sure to do that next time.
I totally agree with you that it can be very hard to interpret cadence through lyrics. I only interpret that through the scheme.
live their life, part in strife, day to night, face and fight. Then onto two solo bars afterwards.
The scheme, to me, reads as poetry. I can obviously see someone flow this, and know you can know problem, in fact I can pop on a beat and flow it (actually did, and it was cool). I still feel it was more poetry than a rap verse.
And I definitely know you could perform the verse without a problem, you have a killer flow. This is just my own thoughts, etc. No hate my man! Thank you again for participating!
All good bro just countering your thoughts with some of my own :)
Constructive dialogue amongst two emcees. I'll be sure to aim for a more rhythmic and rhyme-structured verse next time.
Definitely no hatred interpreted. You're most welcome and thanks again as well bro
it is very good i really enjoy to read it good work
Thank you very much appreciate that Steem o
Love this :)
Thank you very much, I am glad you enjoyed this raw verse
Really enjoyed the read! very well put together.
Thank you very much, glad you enjoyed the structuring and experience of this piece. It comes from a real place of knowing. Appreciate your feedback, best skill to you in the challenge and steem on
Wow yo, put some serious gifs with the rhyme. That's next level.
Thanks, some people like it, others find it distracting. I fixed the post to provide the verse alone without gifs and below, the verse with gifs. So glad you enjoyed this one. Appreciate your comment and you reading. Steem on
Haha What up @verbal-d. Been out for a moment. This was a awesome read both poetically and rhythmically!
Hey bro @redsfallin, thanks for reaching out Glad you have returned. So glad you enjoyed this verse, it was a deep but fun one to write :) We have so much to share you know? Keep writing and stay sharp. Steem on