"KILL THE PAD" CHALLENGE WEEK #13 - SPONSORED BY SMA ( DSound Community Initiative )

in #killthepad6 years ago (edited)

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I have been out of the game for quite a while now and I just hope this would hit the desired target. It is a little out of touch though, but I would appreciate it if I am shown some love. My flow may

This is my entry to the contest on killthepad with the theme EYE CONTACT.

My lyrics is titled: BEHOLD THE SIGHT OF AN ANGEL

I remember the first day that I met her, the first day that I beheld her

From across the street our eyes met and I knew it was her

I felt heat seep through me like I was on to A/C Nicholas Testler

My heart skipped a bit, I was mesmerized by her

The world stood still as we were locked on eye contact

I could almost go blind with her beauty I thought I had cataract

We both knew we had to just have our contacts

So that we would always in the future surely cross paths

I walked over to her and said my heart sings and sizzles with energy

Baby I could take you home to momma, you know we sure do have a great synergy

I know you feel our body flow, you sure do feel the chemistry

Your mouth agape because you are awestruck, I could take you on a dentistry

I am no lyricists and I am no poet, neither am I Leonardo Da' Vinci

I would have made a painting of what I feel for your heart to see

Baby I come for you to see wholeheartedly, this is me

I ain't gonna walk out on you even if you got to diss me

You are not convinced of this because it is not for the visual

It is a rote you only come to know by heart

Our hearts connected right when we saw on the street in an instant

One look at ourselves we both know we never wanna be distant

Give me a reply, tell me what you feel on the inside

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I enjoyed your use of metaphor. I'd challenge you to try to turn the metaphors more into double entendres and not so obvious. This makes it a bit more challenging for you and a bit more awesome for the reader/listener.

Keep dropping em!

Thanks man! I am hoping to give improved lyrics by the day.

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