"KILL THE PAD" CHALLENGE WEEK #4 - SPONSORED BY SMA ( This is a DSound Community Initiative )

in #killthepad2 years ago (edited)

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My family synergy

From my ma's womb she knew I was a rapstar
She said I got what it takes, my ma said I won't end up a disaster
She knew it ain't gonna take three wise men to know my star
There I was out breaking rules with the big boys, I tried to hurt her
So many resentment as a black kid in the block, I got a lot of stigma
Without my mom I could have ended a gangster
Back then in the streets I was called a bastard
They say my dad fucking eloped with a lucky dancer
They say my ma was a fucking bitch, they did a lot to spite her
I was a bad boy till I realised that
I ain't got no one in this world except my mom
We have come a long way, we have weathered many storm
We faced our demons together, no one to run
My ma ma is all I got, I surely must make a 360% u-turn
Now I stand tall on my feet cus my ma's love makes me fit in
She spurs me in the crowd, her cries when she roots for me is deafening
When all odds is against me she's all I got that keeps me going in
I forge ahead without throwing my cards in
We got this family cohesion, I call it synergy
It drives me crazy, I got a lot of energy
I've got to talk about this love from February to January

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This is great, made me tear up a little bit. Such a nice verse about your Ma. Very well written. :)

Very cool man... Really heartfelt and really on topic... Really enjoyed this read. I would say it's the best you've put down so far.

She knew it ain't gonna take three wise men to know my star

I really liked this bar a lot. I'd like to see some more wordplay like this... Bring in some context and allusions into the lyrics. It's what makes a decent verse turn into an amazing verse!

Other than that, I'd say you need to work a bit more on the rhymes... Some of the rhymes seemed a bit of a stretch for me, BUT, I do understand that I can't tell how well it really rhymes just from paper... As you have a different accent than I have, so no real way to tell.

Really enjoyed it dude! Keep it coming!

Thanks
I hope to make more room for improvement on my lines

Who better to dedicate a family piece to, than your mum. Nice work mate.

Thanks
She sure is a gem

Wow this m8nd blowing

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