I'm Not Afraid

jmvanbreda (66)in #killthepad • 7 years ago

I'm Not Afraid

My heart beats cold
like it's buried in the snow.
Hang me from a tree
where the dead flowers grow.
Kiss me with a bullet,
stain these lips of mine
until the moon fades away
and the stars no longer shine.
I'm not afraid of dying
and that makes me scared.
All those moments we got high,
all those needles that we shared.
Staring death in the eye,
a reason to say goodbye.
I'm not afraid of dying,
not living when I should.
Holding on to this dream
before I close my eyes for good.

#lyrics #poetry #jmvanbreda #blog

7 years ago in #killthepad by jmvanbreda (66)

Sort:

simgirl (61) 7 years ago

Wow! I really liked this part

Kiss me with a bullet,
stain these lips of mine
until the moon fades away
and the stars no longer shine.

So profound!!!

$0.00

2 votes

[-]

jmvanbreda (66) 7 years ago

Thank you.

$0.00

[-]

jamesgetsit (64) 7 years ago

This is really dope, I honestly really liked this! Unfortunately, it's too short to be considered in the competition, as it's not at least 16 bars.

My heart beats cold, like it's buried in the snow.
Hang me from a tree, where the dead flowers grow.
Kiss me with a bullet, stain these lips of mine
until the moon fades away, and the stars no longer shine.
I'm not afraid of dying, and that makes me scared.
All those moments we got high, all those needles that we shared.
Staring death in the eye, a reason to say goodbye.
I'm not afraid of dying, not living when I should.
Holding on to this dream, before I close my eyes for good.

As you see, it's only 9 bars... In the future try to structure it more like this, as these are rap bars.

I appreciate you coming out!! I really hope you go at it again, as you were definitely in top three for this, but the length just disqualified you.

$0.00

1 vote

[-]