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RE: @JamesGetsIt's Kill The Pad Challenge Wk # 2: "A Way Out" (Original Verse/Poem)

in #killthepad6 years ago

Yea man, this is cool... Scheme is classic. On topic. Content was cool, telling a bit of your story and how you came to Steemit. A couple of the rhymes were a little out of place, or kind of lazy to me.

but still stressed / open to bless
find a balance / estimated balance

The first couplet was cool, but I felt "open to bless" was out of place. The phrasing was off to me, website open to bless, etc. Just felt a bit forced and not thought out, just key-styled. balance/balance - only time I think using the same end rhyme is OK is if it's part of the scheme. Like what Drake does or something.

I would never diss you, I would never hit you
Girl you know that I miss you, I was on my way home just to kiss you.

Something like that, where it's really part of the scheme.

Good drop man! Appreciate you participating!

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Thanks so much bro, definitely could have improved the writing but this was good practice towards the journey of making another impacting track in the future

Here is the audio of this verse
https://steemit.com/dtube/@verbal-d/0tfwv8ts

It is all part of the creative process and growth, appreciate the feedback

No probs man! Appreciate you participating!

Definitely bro, I'll keep doing so as long as time allows :)

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