I'm still alive

Though my mind has swallowed me whole

Beaten, broken, and deprived

Of the things that once held my soul

I've outlived my demons, yes

And chased my nightmares away

It'll just be me and my shadow, more or less

If he ever decides to stay.

But what comes after this is beyond me

So are the things that added up to this

Why am I here? Why am I lonely?

Where are the people that I've missed?

For once, I would like to forget my name

To justify my fears and my anxieties

And that my memories would have perished as soon as they came

Along with the best -- or rather, the rest of me.

But then, I'm still alive

Though my mind tells me otherwise

Because every breath that I take is like a cliff-dive

Except I'm watching every scene with my own wide eyes...

But then again, I'm still alive

And I've lost count of the times I regretted it

Still, I clawed my way out just to survive

For everyone that matters most to me...

And maybe that's why I'm still alive --

Because I don't want to be another disappointment

I know I'll be ready when Death arrives

So I could tell him that anxiety is an understatement --

I call it paranoia.

Thank you for reading!

❤❤❤