Day 57: My Experiment
Sept 11, 2018 Photo by johnhain
I had a few flashbacks this morning. Just 9 months ago I could hardly get out of bed. Just 57 days ago I was using the walls to walk around the house. I got down the stairs holding my breath, the wall, the railing, to reduce the pain a tad so I could do the laundry. I used a cane or two, depending on the day, to go to the supermarket. I hardly went anywhere to visit a friend or sit and chat. I had zero energy. Today I realize that I was running on fumes and pure will power.
I continue to tire readily by 4 or 5pm and likely cannot stay awake by 8:30PM though I try to keep myself up till 9:30PM. I do not do very well. I recently have been up at 6AM more consistently. I can get out of bed and do my morning routine, a joy in itself.
My mind is steadier. I feel calmer. My nervous system is not on high alert. I can converse a little. Sounds are not so piercing. I don’t want to scream in pain all the time. I feel such gratitude for the little things I can now do. I feel for the first time in about 6 years-ALIVE. I have so much gratitude to my partner and my Mum who have seen me through this terrible health period. They have been so kind and patient with me.
Gratitude to all of you who are supporting me on this journey.