'SNL': Mall Santa peppered with kids' questions about Al Franken, Roy Moore, Matt Lauer
A poor mall Santa (Kenan Thompson) had to field some uncomfortable questions from kids about the news cycle in this week's holiday-themed cold open on Saturday Night Live.
Tyler wanted to know, "What did Al Franken do?"
After unsuccessfully trying to toss that one to his elf assistant (Kate McKinnon), who said "in this climate, I think you should call me Amy," Santa gave it his best shot: "I guess you could say Al Franken is on Santa's naughty list this year."
"What about Roy Moore? What list is he on?" Tyler asked by way of follow-up.
Amy the elf did have an answer here: "It's not really a list. It's more of a registry."
The next kid, Jessica, wanted to know if Trump was also on Santa's naughty list.
Again, he tried to sidestep the question: "Santa tries to stay out of political matters. Our president may have said and done a few naughty things ... "
Amy cut in: "19 accusers. Google it?"
"Can we not?" Santa fired back, before trying to turn the awkward topic into a teachable moment.
That led Jessica to share what she'd gleaned from the last couple of months of sexual-misconduct scandals: "I learned if you admit you did something wrong, you get in trouble, but if you deny it, you get to keep your job!"
Jessica was shooed off after telling Santa she didn't fear lumps of coal in her stocking, with it being a dying industry and all, but things didn't get any better for him. "Why do NFL players kneel during the national anthem?" Billy, the next kid inquired. "Do they hate the troops?"
Santa fumbled for a kid-friendly answer: "They're just kneeling because they're tired."
Billy wondered, "From all the brain injuries?"
Santa replied, "Sure, let's just go with that. Somehow, that's the happier version."
Billy was followed by one girl wanting the U.S. embassy in Israel to remain in Tel Aviv and another who requested a Barbie doll — "unless the feminazis are gonna take that away from me, too."
By now, Santa just wanted a kid to ask for a toy — any toy.
"You mean like the one Matt Lauer gave to his co-worker?" the next kid asked.
"Where the hell did they get these kids from," Santa finally demanded to know. "I never thought I'd say this, but our public schools may be too good."