100% upvote on this one cali-girl. I enjoy your writing as for me it's a glimpse into my own psyche. I think the desire to manage the outcome of everything is something that holds me back too. I tend to delay gratification too much and miss the moment in doing so too. I'm the type to keep the car in the garage to keep the mileage down for future retention of value and don't enjoy the use of it in the present.

As you say, being able to "give it all up" and just relax with the gift of the present allows life to be lived more naturally but boy, that's a hard earned piece of knowledge right there!