Daily Jokes from SydesJokes for 6th January 2018

in #jokes2 years ago

Joke 1

What we do every day

SydesJokes Daily Digest

Original post: http://csyd.es/1/306


Joke 2

We have two ears and one mouth so that we can listen twice as much as we speak. – Epictetus


Joke 3

Bill asks a woman out on a date after meeting her in a bar.

She says, "What kind of car do you drive?"

Bill replies " A VW Bug."

She scornfully says, "That's awfully small!"

Bill replies, "Don't worry, I'm not going to screw you with the car."


Joke 4

Q: Why did a boy thow a clock out the window?
A: To see time fly.


Joke 5

"Your honor, " explained the young man, "I'd like to get married, please."

"All right, what is your age?"

"I'm 22, sir."

"And the age of the bride?"

"She's 15, sir."

"15??? That's too young -- marrying you would be against the law!"

"I see, " said the young man. "Could you try explaining that to the fella next to her with the shotgun?"


Joke 6

Two doctors were in a hospital hallway one day complaining about Nurse Jenny. "She's incredibly dumb. She does everything absolutely backwards." said one doctor. "Just last week, I told her to give a patient 2 milligrams of Percocet every 10 hours. She gave him 10 milligrams every 2 hours. He nearly died on us!"

The second doctor said, "That's nothing. Earlier this week, I told her to give a patient an enema every 24 hours. She tried to give him 24 en-emas in one hour! The guy nearly exploded!"

Suddenly, they hear a blood-curdling scream from down the hall, "Oh my gosh!" said the first doctor, "I just realized I told Nurse Jenny to prick Mr. Smith's boil!"


Joke 7

An avid skier decided that he would ski all the major mountains in the world. He spent a decade at this, climbing and then skiing the world's major peaks. Finally he decided he must ski Mt. Fuji, in Japan. He bade farewell to his wife and set off for the Land of the Rising Sun.

The fateful day came, the weather was right, and the skier climbed to the top of Fuji and skied down. So thrilled was he with his achievement that he decided to send his wife a postcard of Mt. Fuji, describing his feat. While in the shop buying the postcard, he decided, on a whim, to buy a postcard picturing a young, scantily clad geisha to send to his buddy who couldn't make the trip.

Unfortunately, he wrote the wrong messages on the cards, and sent them to the wrong recipients. On the back of the card showing Mt. Fuji, which he mistakenly sent to his buddy, he wrote: "Having fun in Japan!" And on the back of the card showing the scantily clad geisha, which he mistakenly sent to his wife, he wrote, "Here's a picture of the slope I went down on Thursday!"


Joke 8

Q: What do you call a fairy that hasn't bathed in a year?
A: Stinkerbell.


The secret of change

SydesJokes Daily Digest

Original post: http://csyd.es/1/309


Originally post at: https://sydesjokes.blogspot.com/2018/01/daily-jokes-from-sydesjokes-for-6-jan.html


Check today's Steemit Faucet Post: http://csyd.es/Faucet


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A joke that goes all day long..

These jokes were actually better then the past. Liked 1 thru 4 a lot. If I mention #1 to my wife I would guess I get a slap in the face. Everything I do everyday and once in a while must appease her, no excuses :P

If you bring a woman a flower, she will forgive you for anything:))))

Made me smile!

I try to go through each post and answer questions but it gets harder as more people comment. I love all the comments so don't stop. But if you have a a specific question use the Transfer/Memo and send 0.001 SBD. When I reply I will send 0.002 SBD to you so I pay when you message me :)

all peoples love you.

Today is always a bad date for me.

Nice.

what do you call a cheese that's not yours??
-Nacho cheezzzeee

People say this in conversation on San Diego.

LOL! I forgot my problems for a second. Haha. Great jokes! upvoted and also resteemed already.

Me, too! It's nice to see people are going down the list and upvoting all the people who took the time to comment here today! :))) cheers! Have a beautiful day!

I come here a few times a week and take a rest from my worries and feel better later.

@ Joke 2, Or SOME people really need to listen more than they speak lol.

I like this joke "We have two ears and one mouth so that we can listen twice as much as we speak". Have nice day @sydesjokes :)

Keep up the good work man , love it :)

Exactly focus on the future not on the past. Going forward every day with SuperiorCoin.

Reading your posts really made my day. Upvoted & Resteemed.

Nice joke Colin
I think I had once see the time fly too

Life is short. Continue to smile... :)

Very amusing, I like the jokes number 2 and 5. thnaks for posts.

my favorite 4 & 8. nice posts

Great quotes. To me, all these quotes are not only jokes but they are words of wisdom.
More of these @sydesjokes

Nice one, really like all jokes, keep it up

Hahaha very amusing, I like the jokes number 4 and 8.

Hahahha. I like the number 5. Vert funny..

Great jokes haha my favorite 5-6

Joke 1
what we do everyday actually defines who we are.

Hahaha It was good the shotgun hahaha

Great jokes, excellent post!

Hehehe, stinkerbell. Nice post

Funny, and number 1 so true

Great jokes haha my favorite 4 & 8.
Upvote & resteem

I like joke 8! Thank you @sydesjokes. Resteeming.

Joke 6 is funny! Thank you @sydesjokes!😊

What we do in life echoes in eternity.

Great joke i like 2 one :)😀

I like joke number 2 it's always best to listen before you open your mouth :)

I loved the 1 one very well

Your post re steemed & upvote & comment all .....@steemitgirl11

Haha ...love No-3 that's a great line to use !!

Some motivational stuff there :)

A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished.
@sydesjokes

My big reward is washing my husbands underwear lol ! lol !!! LOL!

Laughing hard the shotgun.

Colin is bring American customs to the world:)))

Can't argue with that. :D

As always you have a way of making me smile. And laughter is contagious and uplifts the spirit.

I like a joke 4 is a good

Good jokes. Made me smile.

Very funny-:) I love the last quote. I think this is what most of the humans struggle with. We can’t do anything with what was. But we can do everything we want with what to come
@everydaycoach

HAHA, Too funny. Resteeemed , upvoted

This makes my day. HAHA. upvoted , resteemed

😜😜😜 Today, I laughed. Thanks! resteemed

A joke that goes all day long thansk...

I don't even know whether am commenting because I wants to or am doing it for reward sake

I'll upvote you and follow you. :)))

thanks i really appreciate that

Laughter doth good like a medicine.... Thanks for sharing

Matters are not fisnish everyday. I find a solition for them :)

I liked joke 4.

You always have great jokes

focus on the future

thanks, very good

Nice jokkes

so diligent reading. a classy joke

Hahahaha hahaha....

i liked :) carpe diem...

Joke 8 was nice, hahaha

I can stand all day listening to your jokes but I can't right now because im sitting reading your articles haa

keep it up man

Nice post man