Disobedience is the true foundation of liberty
Original post: http://csyd.es/1/199
Better to understand a little than to misunderstand a lot.
Pauly and Maury are chatting.
Pauly: "I bought the fastest car on the market."
Maury (impressed): "You bought a Ferrari Enzo?"
Pauly: "No, a bought a Yugo."
Maury (in disbelief): "A Yugo? You call that fastest???"
Pauly: "Sure. Fastest depreciation on the market."
Q: What did one hair say to the other?
A: It takes two to tangle!
On a military training exercise, the British divisional command radio operators were getting very bored one quiet night, when breaking the silence a voice asked over the air, "Are there any friendly bears listening?"
After a moment, another voice replied, "Yes, I'm a friendly bear," and then another voice, "I'm a friendly bear too!"
At this point, the Officer at Headquarters grabbed his microphone and let loose a blistering tirade at the operators for fooling around on a radio link.
When he had finished, there was silence for about ten seconds. Then a small voice said, "You're not a very friendly bear, are you?"
Charles was taking his out-of-town buddy Clyde on a walking tour of the city. Clyde saw a good-looking girl and asked Charles if he knew her.
"Yes, that's Jacqueline -- one hundred and twenty dollars."
A little further along, Clyde spotted an even more stunning girl and asked if Charles happened to know her also.
"Yes, that Rosalynn -- one hundred and eighty dollars."
After the process was repeated twice more, Clyde remarked, "Good Heavens! Aren't there any respectable women in this city?"
"Of course!" replied Charles, highly offended. "But you couldn't afford them either."
Three geezers are sitting on a porch in Miami Beach. Suddenly the first sighs and says, "Gentlemen, isn't life horrible. Here I am at an age that I can afford the best steaks and what? Bad teeth and gums. I have to eat ground or soft foods."
The second answers, "Yeah, life is a real bummer. Why here I am at an age where I can buy the finest wines, champagne but what? Ulcers, I have to drink milk."
The third sighs loudly and adds, "Gentlemen, I know exactly what you mean. Last night at 2 am I nudged my wife and asked her if she's interested. She screams at me, "What is wrong with you Sam? We just got finished doing it for the second time tonight!"
After a long pause the first man says, "So what is your problem?"
The third one grunts and says, "Can't you see? My memory is going."
Q: Why would Snow White make a great judge?
A: She was the fairest in the land.
Original post: http://csyd.es/1/200
Originally post at: https://sydesjokes.blogspot.com/2018/01/daily-jokes-from-sydesjokes-for-4th.html