Daily Jokes from SydesJokes for 22nd January 2018

sydesjokes (64)in #jokes • 7 years ago

Joke 1

Dwight D. Eisenhower

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Joke 2

There are two educations. One should teach us how to make a living, and the other how to live. - John Adams

Joke 3

A novice gardener who was looking for some advice asked an experienced farmer, "What would be good to plant in an area that gets very little rain, has too much late afternoon sun, has clay soil and lies on a rocky ledge?"

Replied the farmer, "How about a flagpole?".

Joke 4

Q: How many computer programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Are you kidding? That's a hardware problem!

Joke 5

A man came back to the dealer from whom he bought a new car.

I believe you gave me a guarantee with my car, he said.

That's right, sir, the salesman answered. "During the warranty period we will replace anything that breaks."

Fine, I need a new garage door.

Joke 6

Little Johnny is in the park eating candy when an old man comes up to him. The old man says, "Y'know, eating candy is not good for your health."

Little Johnny says, "Oh, yeah? Well, my grandpa lived to 103."

The old man asks, "Well, did he eat candy?"

Little Johnny says, "No, but he knew how to mind his own damn business."

Joke 7

Two Goober hunters were dragging their dead deer down a trail back to their car.

Another hunter approached pulling his along too.

"Hey, I don't want to tell you what to do, but I can tell you that it's much easier if you drag the deer in the other direction. Then the antlers won't dig into the ground."

After the third hunter left, the two decided to try it.

A little while later one hunter said to the other, "You know, that guy was right. This is a lot easier!"

"Yeah," the other added, "but we're getting farther away from the truck!"

Joke 8

Q: How does a spoiled rich girl change a lightbulb?
A: She says, "Daddy, I want a new apartment."

Denis Waitley

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