Daily Jokes from SydesJokes for 19th February 2018

in #jokes4 years ago (edited)

Joke 1

Attitude is a paintbrush

SydesJokes Daily Digest

Original post: http://bit.ly/2GEW0zx

Joke 2

The government cannot give to anybody anything that the government does not first take from somebody else.

Joke 3

Wife: Darling today is our anniversary, what should we do?

Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes.

Joke 4

Q: What did the big chimney say to the little chimney?
A: You're too young to smoke!

Joke 5

"I always worry when you leave for a weekend with the guys," sobbed the pretty young wife.

"Don't worry about me, babe," he soothed her. "I'll be back before you know it."

"I know," she sighed. "That's what worries me."

Joke 6

Two men were talking in a restaurant. They had ordered their dinner and were patiently waiting for the meals to be delivered. The first man asked the other, "Do you know how many lawyers it would take to change a lightbulb?"

"Naw, cain't rightly say I do," replied the second guy.

"You could NEVER get a lawyer to change a lightbulb!"

"Now, hold on, pardner." The man added, "I ain't no rocket scientist, but NO lawyer could see what he was doing in the dark!"

The othr man replied, "Well, you have two alternatives. Here they are. One, you could ask the secretary to change the lightbulb. She would. Two, you could ask the lawyer, 'Would you screw a new lightbulb in here?' and he would! Hell, man, don'tcha know? A LAWYER will screw anything he can!"

Joke 7

A ninety-eight-year-old Mother Superior from Ireland was dying. The nuns gathered around her bed trying to make her last journey comfortable. They tried giving her some warm milk to drink but she refused it.

One of the nuns took the glass back to the kitchen and, remembering a bottle of Irish whiskey received as a gift the previous Christmas, she opened it and poured a generous amount into the warm milk.

Back at Mother Superior's bed, she held the glass to her lips.

Mother drank a little, then a little more and before they knew it, she drank the whole glass down to the last drop. "Mother," the nuns asked with earnest, "please give us some wisdom before you die."

She raised herself up in bed and said, "Don't ever sell that cow."

Joke 8

Q: What does the cannibal do just after he dumped his girlfriend?
A: Wiped his ass.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

SydesJokes Daily Digest

Original post: http://bit.ly/2GGHCGU

Originally post at: https://sydesjokes.blogspot.com/2018/02/daily-jokes-from-sydesjokes-for-19-feb.html

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haha.. these are hilarious.lolz !!

This comment has received a 0.02 % upvote from @speedvoter thanks to: @abhisteem13.

Teacher:- anything you can't see does not exist example; can you see God?
Little champ:- No
Teacher:- then there is no God
Little champ:- excuse me mam can you see your brain
Teacher:- No
Little champ:- then you have no brain

Happy and Blessed Day Friend, thanks for sharing those jokes hahahaha

Hahaha, good jokes

Attitude is everything!! :)

2 minute in silence cracked me up ..ha ha

The jokes with the government are really good especially now that more and more corrupt governments are present in the Eastern Europe area.

I love the jokes! So very true regarding attitude! All the best! Positive Energy! Great Karma! Your Friend @extraterrestrial :)

Joke 1 so true.

Your attitude determines your altitude

i just love number 1...

Jajajajaja el 4 es muy bueno!

The last joke got me.

In return I will share an original joke.

A reverend sister and the kindest man on earth both die.
When they get to heaven, there's only one slot left.

The sister gets chosen.
Why was the kind man left behind? cause there was nun nicer than him.

Spot on with joke No-2

Most definitely with No-1

The first one was the best quote I've ever heard.

All very good, tho #8 was a bit unsettling. :-))

Funny stuff here, thanks.

Happy and Blessed Day Friend, thanks for sharing those jokes hahahaha

Attitude is everything!! :)

haha.. these are hilarious.lolz !!

Happy and Blessed Day Friend, thanks for sharing those jokes hahahaha

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