Daily Jokes from SydesJokes for 17 Oct 2017
Joke 1
Letting toxic people go
Original post: http://csyd.es/1/77
Joke 2
Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice?"
Joke 3
Mary: I've never met a man with such low self-esteem as his. He told me that his mother always called him her "little bastard."
Jill: That's terrible! Certainly his parents were married!
Mary: Uh, yeah, but not to each other!
Joke 4
Q: How does a train sneeze?
A: Ah-choo-choo!
Joke 5
A woman is walking on the road and a voice shouts out, "Don't take a step further." She obeys and suddenly a ton of bricks fall on the place where she would have otherwise been.
She thinks she imagined it and keeps walking until suddenly the voice calls out again. "Don't take a step further." She stops and a car skids past.
Then suddenly she hears the voice saying "I am your guardian angel, and I will warn you before something bad happens to you. Now do you have any questions to ask me?"
Yes! Shouts the woman, Just where were you on my wedding day!"
Joke 6
It was the first camping experience for Jed.
As soon as he had pitched his tent, he went for a hike in the woods. In about fifteen minutes he rushed back into camp, bleeding and dishevelled.
What happened? asked a fellow camper.
I was chased by a black snake! cried the frightened Jed.
The camper laughed and retorted, "A black snake isn't deadly."
Listen, groaned Jed, "If he can make you jump off a fifty-foot cliff, he is!"
Joke 7
Bumper Stickers
Jesus loves you .....Everyone else thinks you're an ass.
If you can read this, I can slam on my brakes and sue you.
Save your breath .... you'll need it to blow up your date.
Some people are only alive because its illegal to shoot them.
WANTED: Meaningful overnight relationship.
Hang up and drive.
GUYS: No shirt, No service. GALS: No shirt, No charge.
Impotence: Nature's way of saying no hard feelings.
Your ridiculous little opinion has been noted.
The proctologist called ... They found your head.
Try not to let your mind wander ... It's too small to be out by itself.
Everyone has a photographic memory ... Some people just don't have film.
Some people just don't know how to drive...I call these people "Everybody but me".
Just because you have one, doesn't mean you have to be one.
Don't like my driving? Then don't watch me.
Joke 8
Q: Why did a boy thow a clock out the window?
A: To see time fly.
Aristotle
Original post: http://csyd.es/1/70
Originally post at: https://sydesjokes.blogspot.com/2017/10/daily-jokes-from-sydesjokes-for-17-oct.html
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Jesus loves you .....Everyone else thinks you're an ass. My fav.
Brand new follower, found you through @honolulu. Great post, great jokes, appreciate the humor. Following, Upvoted the post and Resteemed for the pleasure of others.
Good Morning!
You missed an "r" in the highlighted word.
The "funny" thing anyway is the fact that after a certain age (most likely 18-20) you didn't have to throw clocks out the window, because you can see/feel that the time flies without it.
We are joking with time, but the time doesn't joke with us.
The time is cruel and ruthless.
Thank you for reading!
Enjoy Steemit!
Have a nice day!
good post
Upvoted & Resteemed