Daily Jokes from SydesJokes for 13th January 2018

in #jokes3 years ago

Joke 1

Planning

SydesJokes Daily Digest

Original post: http://csyd.es/1/422


Joke 2

All words are pegs to hang ideas on. - Henry Ward Beecher


Joke 3

Two newlyweds quickly realized their marriage wasn't working and filed for divorce. The judge asked them what the problem was. The husband replied, "In the five weeks that we've been together we haven't been able to agree on a single thing."

The judge asked the wife, "Have you anything to say?"

It's been six weeks your Honor.


Joke 4

Q: How do you know that a female bartender is pissed off with you?
A: There's a string hanging out of your bloody Mary.


Joke 5

A husband and wife were at a party chatting with some friends when the subject of marriage counselling came up.

"Oh, we'll never need that. My husband and I have a great relationship," the wife explained.

"He was a communications major in college and I majored in theater arts."

"He communicates real well and I just act like I'm listening."


Joke 6

A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. He passed a sign that said "low bridge ahead."

Before he knew it, the bridge was right ahead of him and he could not avoid getting stuck under the bridge. You could say that he got a "Truck Wedgie."

Cars were backed up for miles.

Finally, a police car pulled up. The cop got out of his car and walked around to the truck driver, put his hands on his hips and said, "Got stuck, huh?"

The gutsy truck driver said, "No officer, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas!"


Joke 7

They went over to the starter's booth to see how long the wait was before they could get out and play a round.

One of the men went up to the person in charge and asked how long it would be to get a round going on the course.

That's going to be a problem today, sir, the starter told him. "We're all booked up for the entire day."

There's nothing available at all? asked the man.

I'm very sorry, sir, he replied. "Nothing all day."

Just out of curiosity, said the man, "let me ask you something. If Nick Price, Tiger Woods, Phil Mickelson and Ernie Els showed up here right now, do you think you'd be able to get them out on the course right away?"

I'm sure I would, sir, said the starter.

Well fine then, said the man. "Seeing as they're all playing on the Tour this week, we'll just take their spots."


Joke 8

Q: How do you recycle a used tampon?
A: As a tea-bag for vampires.


Albert Einstein

SydesJokes Daily Digest

Original post: http://csyd.es/1/423


Originally post at: https://sydesjokes.blogspot.com/2018/01/daily-jokes-from-sydesjokes-for-13-jan.html


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you make me laugh good job

@sydesjokes joke 3 and 4 made me laugh loud with water out of my eyes, very hilarious replies from the spouses. Great job. Thanks a lot.

Oh man thank you. It has been a stressful day and i always look forward to your daily jokes as they will put a smile on my face no matter what.

Joke 3 made me think of an ex and joke 4 made me not want to drink a bloody Mary haha.

Omg if Joke 4 actually happened that would be so gross!

Fun !

Good morning @sydesjokes! :)

The Albert Einstein quote was really good!! It makes you stop and think about what you have been doing.

That tampon tho! Hahahah

@sydesjokes joke number 3 is quite hilarious,divorce is common these days

@sydesjokes I guess the driver wasn't paying attention, joke number 6 is funny.

Nice jokes, keep it up.

Joke 3 is really hilarious and instant answer for the judge.

Totally agree with Number -1 Never leave it till it's to late :)

lol. two tampon jokes in one post. I can't 😆
great motivational quotes too. thanks!

Haha ... love number 6 ...good come back !!

That couple not agreeing part was indeed funny. :D

Nice Jokes.

#6 Clever Dick

nice jokes...

joke #3
#Caseclosed
the wife has confirmed the husband's claim

Good one. Joke 4 almost made me puke, but in a good way. Thanks Colin

Oh man thank you. It has been a stressful day and i always look forward to your daily jokes as they will put a smile on my face no matter what.

Joke 3 made me think of an ex and joke 4 made me not want to drink a bloody Mary haha.

Jokes are good content, love to laugh, glad I followed! :)

Great jokes! Joke Five got me, funny and realistic at the same time.