Daily Jokes from SydesJokes for 12th January 2018

in #jokes3 years ago

Joke 1

Lost the ability to give a damn [joke]

SydesJokes Daily Digest

Original post: http://csyd.es/1/310

Joke 2

All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them - Walt Disney

Joke 3

Jack's mother ran into the bedroom when she heard him scream and found his two-year old sister pulling his hair. She gently released the little girl's grip and said comfortingly to Jack, "There, there. She didn't mean it. She doesn't know that hurts."

She was barely out of the room when the little girl screamed. Rushing back in, she asked, "What happened?"

She knows now, Jack replied.

Joke 4

Q: How can you tell a macho women?
A: She rolls her own tampons.

Joke 5

Mary decides to consult a diet doctor. "What's the most you've ever weighed?" he asks her.

One hundred fifty-nine pounds.

And the least?

Six pounds four ounces.

Joke 6

Little Johnny tried out for the school play. The teacher gave him these lines to practice:

Hark! A pistol shot! There lies a lady with hope in her soul. I think I'll snatch a kiss and run into the forest. By William Shakespeare.

Little Johnny practiced and practiced and did the lines perfectly every time. The night of the play it was his turn to speak. This is what he said:

Hark! A pigeon shit! There lies a lady with soap in her hole. I think I'll kiss her snatch and run into the forest. By William Snakeshit... Horseshit... Oh, shit! Fuck it, I didn't want to be in this damn play anyway!

Joke 7

While Bubba and Billy Bob were in the local Wal-Mart, they decided to get in on the weekly charity raffle.

They bought five tickets each at a dollar a pop. The following week, when the raffle was drawn, each had won a prize.

Billy Bob won 1st place; a years supply of gourmet spaghetti sauce and extra long spaghetti.

Bubba won 6th prize; a toilet brush.

About a week or so had passed when the men met back at Wal-Mart. Bubba asked Billy Bob how he liked his prize, to which Billy Bob replied, "Great!, I love spaghetti!"

Billy Bob asked Bubba, "How 'bout you, how's the toilet brush? "Not so good," replied Bubba, "I reckon I'm gonna go back to paper."

Joke 8

Q: What do a coffin and a condom have in common?
A: They're both filled with stiffs - only one's coming and one's going.

Can't someone else just do it?

SydesJokes Daily Digest

Original post: http://csyd.es/1/311

Originally post at: https://sydesjokes.blogspot.com/2018/01/daily-jokes-from-sydesjokes-for-12-jan.html

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it says finders keepers lol

I really like jokes, Thank you

a great way to start new day. thanks

8 is funny, thanks for the jokes

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Great jokes, I like it

hahaha jokes are very entertaining

I always love the joke by @sydesjokes

In times like this, we need these jokes @sydesjokes! Thank you very much! :)

Why are hot blondes put in caskets in "Y" shape, because when you lay them down they automatically open their legs...

Any text with a minion next to it will make me laugh!

Thanks for u help!

Lol 😂
What a funny jokes. Thanks for making me laugh today after a stressful day

thanks for the jokes

very entertaining

Today my favorite is joke 2

thank you very much! good post..

Your post are awesome

Wonderful jokes

Gracias por el post!

I really like jokes, Thank you. Upvote &resteem.

Joke No2 so true dedication takes you places :)

very good jokes friend @sydesjokes

No 5 ha ha good one.

"toilet brush" hhahaha it's funny

all are too good.

Joke 8 what a classic never thought of it that way :):):):)

Everyone else should just do it, Colin, but you're the only one who actually is.

Hopefully more people do it and the world will be a much better place :)

good post by sbd

@sydesjokes joke number 5 is funny

@sydesjokes very nice jokes, joke no 3 is very hilarious.

Thank you for sharing :)

Joke #2
words of wisdom

Why are hot blondes put in caskets in "Y" shape, because when you lay them down they automatically open their legs...

How is joke #2 a joke?

Hehe they are funny the jokes and the quote was smart..thx for everything especially the jokes always bringing the perfect drop of humor in my steem experience! :)

a great way

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