Daily Jokes from SydesJokes for 1 Jan 2018
Happy New Year 2018 from Superior Coin Team
Original post: http://bit.ly/2Co6Iv3
Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity!
A husband was scolding his blonde wife for constantly leaving her keys in the ignition of her car.
"I do that because if I take them out, I lose them," she explained.
"Well, what if someone steals your car?"
"Oh, that's okay. I always keep a spare set in the glove box!"
Q: Why did the Leper go back into the shower?
A: He forgot his Head and Shoulders.
Three gays were talking about their perfect reincarnation. The first one says, "I'd love to reincarnate in a mirror and see all those handsome men shave in the mornings."
The second gay guy says, "I wish I were underwear so I could rub my face in their dicks and asses."
The third gay guy was thinking of something better to say, and replied, "I'd love to an ambulance. I would love to have three or four men stuck through my behind at a time and then run through the streets of the city shouting, 'Ooha-ooha, ooha-ooha, ooha-ooha'."
A wife and her husband attended a very important business party thrown by her boss.
On the way home from the party, the woman said to her husband, "Have I ever told you how handsome and sexy and totally irresistible to all women you are?"
"Why no," said the husband, deeply flattered.
"Then what the hell gave you that stupid fucking idea at the party?!" she yelled.
The two old coots were both only a year short of retire- ment from the assembly line, but one Monday morning that didn't keep Joe from boasting to Manny about his sexual endurance.
"Three times," gasped Manny admiringly. "How'd you do it?"
"It was easy." Joe looked down modestly. "I made love to my wife, and then I rolled over and took a ten minute nap. When I woke up again, I made love to her again and took another ten minute nap. And then I put it to her again. Can you believe it! I woke up this morning feeling like a bull, I'll tell you."
"I gotta try it," said Manny. So that night he made love to his wife, took a ten minute nap, made love to her again, took another nap, woke up and made love to her a third time, then rolled over and fell sound asleep.
He woke up feeling like a million bucks, pulled on his clothes, and ran to the factory, where he found his boss waiting outside for him. "What's up, Boss?" he asked.
"I've been working for you for twenty years and never been late once. You aren't going to hold these twenty minutes against me now, are you?"
"What twenty minutes?" growled the boss. "Where the fuck were you on Tuesday and Wednesday?
Q: Why are babies good at soccer?
A: Because they dribble!
Finland 3 month solar eclipse
Original post: http://csyd.es/1/211