Santa jokes

in #jokes2 years ago

coollogo_com-147471519.pngSanta's baby name

Sarta Sahab of Mumbai used to work in Dubai and could not come to India for four years.

One day, at the office, the saint Sahab began sharing his sweets with the happiness of his colleagues in the office to become a father.

A colleague asked- Sir, for four years here and your wife in Mumbai, then how do you become a father?

Saints- My neighbors take great care of my wife!

Coworker- what is the name of the child?

Saints- Look, they will have to ask the wife and ask.

If a neighbor with a second floor has taken care of my wife Preet, then the child will be named Dwivedi, but if the third, fourth or fifth floor is to be cared for, then keep Trivedi, Chaturvedi or Pandey accordingly.

Coworker - If everyone has taken care of together?

Saints- then Mishra will keep If you have taken care of Shukla Paksha, then you will keep Shukla.

Coworker- If the sister-in-law did not say shamekar name?
Saints - Then surely Sharma will be cared for, then the baby's name will be shy.

Coworker - If Bhabhi ji did not tell anyone's name, then kept secret?
Saints - Then there will be Gupta.

Coworker - If sister-in-law does not remember, then?

Saints- Then it will be Yadav's work, keep the child's name as Yadav.

Coworker - If someone had to force Sister in law, then?

Saints - Such lowly acts can only be guilty, the child's name will be blamed.

Coworker - If Bhabhi ji has only given a man's enthusiasm to eradicate his hunger?

Saints - then keep the child's name as Joshi.

Coworkers - Sasal Harakkhor, Beagatrat ... Aulad ... Calling sister in here, we will take care of ten staff in the office and you can make your child's name Deshpande.

Santa's interview

Saints went to work for job interviews.

In the meantime, the job had already been given to someone else on the recommendation of someone but the interview was to show off.

Hence the questions of Besar leg were being asked.

Saints went in

Boss- Take Mom, you are on the boat in the middle of the river and you only have two cigarettes and nothing else, you have to burn a cigarette, so what will you do?

Saints - there can be many ways of this.

Boss asked surprise- well? So tell?

Srta - The first is to throw a cigarette in the river, with it will be become LIGHTER ... using this LIGHTER you can light the other Cigarette.

Boss - what's this nonsense?

Another way of Saints-
Throw a cigarette up and catch it.
Catches win Matches
Using the matches that you win,
you can light your cigarette

Boss- Silly!

Saints- Listen to the third way.

Take water in your hands and drop it drop - tip tip tip!
Boss- What will this happen?
Santa-Tip Tip, water, water, set fire!
Burn the cigarette with this fire!

Saints - listen forward!
You start praising a cigarette. Now the cigarette is femme and the second cigarette will be heard by the praise of the first and jealousy will burn itself.

Buffering Saints

SANTA had taken a new computer and internet connection.

After staying at the computer for a long time, Sita came to her bed and started sucking her tight love.

But between the fuck she stopped for some seconds and in the same condition she was absolutely stagnant.

When Sanatah repeatedly did such a thing, he did not remain with Preeto, he had asked for peace - how are you doing this today?

Sarta replied - This is a new technology of fuck, today I have learned from internet, its name is 'Buffering ...'

Gender of saints

Santaji was completing the reservation form of the railway but the form was repeatedly being rejected.

Being upset, Irfan said, standing behind me, "Sarta ji, if I see my face, then I will."

Srta caught his uncle Irfan.

Irfan was stunned by seeing the form of Santaji, the form was a few words:

Name - Santa
Age - 39 years
Gender -.
Wife's name - love
Age - 35 years
Gender - not.
Son's name - pappu
Age - 9 years
Gender - small.

Saints and hell

Once Sants died in hell, they saw that every person was allowed to go to Hell in any country.
He thought let's go to the Hell of the Americas and see.

When he arrived there, he asked the guard on the gate - why brother, what happens in the American hell?
Talking about the watch - nothing special, first you will be given an hour by sitting on an electric chair, then you will be laid on a nail bed for an hour, after which a monster will come and hit fifty rams on your wounded back.

Sunita was very nervous and heard the news of the Hell of Russia, and asked the same guards there too.
Russia's watchman also told almost everything he had heard in the US Hell.

Again, Saints came to the door of the nations of each country by one and the other, they got to hear the same horrible thing everywhere.

In the end, when Sants arrived at 'Indian Hell', long lines were going to hell in front of the door, people were getting excited to go to hell.

He thought that there must be less punishment here, he immediately asked the guard what is the punishment?

The watchman said - nothing is special ... First you will be given an hour by sitting on an electric chair, then you will be laid on a nail bed for an hour, after which a monster will come and hit fifty rams on your wounded back.

The troubled saints asked - this is happening in the rest of the country also in hell, why is there so much crowd here?

The watchman- the electric chair is the same, but there is no electricity, the nails have taken away from the nails, and the racist is a government employee, comes, signs, and goes to tea and breakfast If the mistake comes back quickly, then one or two whip and kills fifty.

After starting the girls' college, Srata eventually took a girl.
A few days both of them talked about here and dating continued.

One day, Sunita called that girl and she observed that if she comes to her tonight then she will have sex!
The girl said - Okay, I will come, but you bring the condom with Chemist.
Sara was very happy that let's get this for the first time on this pretext.

Santha ran away to Chemist and told chemist- Brother, give a pack of condoms!
Chemist- Which flavors should?
Saints got into thinking and after thinking for a while, said, 'Give a beggar.'

Once her girlfriend sent a message on mobile - I Miss You!
After a lot of thinking, Saints responded two hours later - I Mister You!

Saints took the relation of their son Banta and took them to a relationship with the girl.
The girl's parents said - our daughter is still studying.
Say it silent - no matter ... we will come after an hour or two.

One day, the daughter of Sultana Gulbobo said to her father- Papaji, a member from your house will be reduced tomorrow.
Next day, the daughter of Santa's family ran away.
When he found the escape of Gulboo, he said, Gulbo did wrong work, but that was a great astrologer!

An English test of santa

For the examination of English, Sita had remembered the same essay 'My Friend'

But the test came .... 'My Father'

But do not panic, but ...
He appeared intelligently and in the remembered essay, instead of the word "Friend", he came to write "Father".

The examiner who checked his form has been unconscious till now !!

Srita had written:

I Am A Very Fatherly Person

I Have Lots Of Fathers

Some of My Fathers are male and some are female.

My Mother Is Very Close To Many Of My Fathers

My uncle

My True Father Is My Neighborhood ..

And I Love all my Fathers


Har Ek Father Zaruri Hota Hai ...

Saints and Punjabi clans

At one time in the United States, when Santa saw a Punjabi man wearing arms in the arms of an African Negro, he was irritated; eighty Punjabis die gaye jo yeh neheghe nal ghummedi phadiadi a!

Punjabi ki di bhi-jiththan ti tawadi lulli jundi ai ... uhthon tay te ai aapni tongue tu dodee ...

Saints and cockroaches

Once Saints began to kill a cockroach, then suddenly he said,
You are killing me for this
Because your wife fears me
And not you!

When Srata saw a beautiful girl in a mall, she smiled at her after seeing him.
In answer, the girl smiled too.

Saints have realized that the girl will disappear.

Saints went to him and said in a very shayana fashion - Thumak Tumak's moving, will you kill him? Give a little pussy, what will you pick up so much?

The girl was on the verge, listening to Sunita, she also responded in a big shayana style - I will spend Rs.

Sanaa - I will pay 200 rupees, I will take the hill myself.

The girl got annoyed after listening to Saint and replied - Why does she spend too much money, you save her 200 rupees, she is in front of the bathroom, go and shake with her hand!

Santa ka land

Saintha came home happily one day and talked to his father, Gurnam - Daddy Daddy, my cock is the biggest in our class, what is so special about me?
Sarna's father, Gurnam angry, spoke to Bhosari, because you are 18 years old and still in the fifth class.

Family of saints

Saina went to eat with her family at the house of her new friend, Banta.

Introducing his family members to Banta's family, he said,

'This is our wife - Google queen Ask a question, give 10 answers.
This is our son - Facebook kumar Talks about the house to the whole colony.
This is our beta - Twitter Kumari The whole colony follows it.
This is our mother - Whatsapp mother Keeps screwing up all day long
And Hum- Orkut Kumar No one asks us!

Grace of saints

It was the honeymoon of saints.

His new bride was waiting for her husband sitting on a bed decorated with flowers.

After a long time, Saints came and came and sat next to Preeta, took his veil and said - From today we are husband and wife, you are the daughter-in-law of this house!

From now on, respect all the elderly in this house, touch everyone's feet and take their blessings ... give love to the little ones ... behave well with everyone ... worshiping God in the morning ... Do not insult anyone in the house ... no one is abusive to speak…

Preeti got upset and opened the door and cried loudly - all come inside ... the satsang is going on!

Saint ji's wife

Srata told his friend Bunta- I was looking for a wife who is stingy in the kitchen, an open heart in the drawing room and a fire in the bedroom.

But if I got such a wife then with the reverses on the right:

She has an open heart in the kitchen,

Fire in drawing room

And stingy in the bedroom!

Fauji Saint

The military Santro truck driver was going to Ladakh with some soldiers and Major Saab in the truck.

Diesel finished in the truck on the middle road.

The military Santry driver said - Sir will have to push.

Maj Saab ordered the troops to push.

After getting 12 kilometer push, the pistol pump was found, but the soldiers had been badly damaged, some were on the brink of unconsciousness.

When Sita was carrying diesel, then Major Saab said, "Sita, fill the diesel in the back drum!

Sarta replied - Sir he is full, he is kept for the Emergency.

By hearing this, Major Saab also became unconscious.

Saints banta and angel

In a village, 3 people lived in a family. Father Paramita and her two sons, Saints and Banta

They had a buffalo. Life was going on in the fun that suddenly one day his buffalo died.
The whole family became depressed.

One night the father Parmitita was crying sorrow, weeping and crying, he reached near the well of the house.
An angel came out of the well and asked, why are you crying?
Paramite said: 'My buffalo is dead, I am sad to her.
Fairy quote- I'll make your buffalo alive but it's a condition
Parmita spoke - what is the condition?
Fairy quote- You have to fuck me five times.

Parimala agreed and she started to fuck the angel. Once, Choda, Choda twice, Paramita died for the fourth time on the fourth time in Choda.
When everyone was found in the morning, both brothers and sisters were very sad.

On the next night, big brother Santa Rata-Rata came to the well.
Then the angel came and asked- why are you crying?
Saints said - First our buffalo died and now the father died too.

Fairy said - Both can be alive but I have a condition.
Srata asked- what is the condition?
Angel said - you'll have to fuck me 10 times.

Hearing the condition, big brother Saints too agreed. Once, Chodha, he died in the eighth time on the Chadha five times.
In the morning when the younger brother Banta got to know him he was very sad.

At night he also came to the same well after crying and crying and then came the angel.
He also asked the reason for crying to him.

The younger brother said, 'First our buffalo died, father died, and now brother is crying for it.
Fairy said - All can be alive but I have a condition. "

When Bunta asked the condition, the angel told his condition that if you can fuck me 20 times, then all will be alive.
Banta believed and he started.
Fifty times, five times, ten times, fifteen times, twenty times, twenty five times, thirty times and forty-four died, but according to the promise, all were alive.

All were surprised how the angel died
Big brother Saints asked the younger brother - How did the dead die, died?
The younger brother replied, "When the buffalo dies, what was the fairy?"

In the Big B 'Kaun Banega Crorepati' by Satya - now you have a question of 25 lakhs.

"Which of your favorite colors do you wear?"

A: Black

B: Red

Q: blue

D: white

After much thought of Saints - I would like to call my friend Banta!

The English, Australian and Punjabi sat together and watched the 'IPL' IPL match.

Batsman smiled and said English - Amazing Six!

Australian- What a Great Shot!

Saints- oh, you gave me the answer! Cheer Leader with a number 3 number one, the second one is dead!

Once, China went to China in connection with Saina Business.
There he bought a Chinese X-ray glasses, so that any person sees naked ...
The shopkeeper said - look at me by wearing glasses ...
Saints saw that the shopkeeper appeared naked ...
Then he removed the glasses and saw the shopkeeper dressed ...
Saina was very happy.

Saints took flight to come to India ...
Everyone in the ship, girls, airhostes etc. saw glasses ... happy ... all bare eyes ...
Reached India ... took the taxi to go to the house ...
The taximan also looked at the glasses ... He also showed the naked ... Sun is very happy ...

He reached the house while wearing glasses ... Both his wife and his servant slept on the bare beds ...
Saw the glasses ... still both were bare.
After wearing glasses, saw ... both were bare ... saw glasses removed and both looked bare ...
Sunset flared .... Bola- Vahan Chod .. This is the problem ... China's goods do not even go for 2 days ... Sad fuck!

Saints (from the police) - we both are married!
Police- Then sit in the house.
Saints - can not sit because her husband and my wife will not agree!

The fight on the border started.
Saints- Maj sir, I will give the mother of enemies!
Major-Abe Bhosari's are to kill enemies, not to be born!

Once the saint goes to a prostitute and tells him in a very shining fashion-

Moving to the tome,
What will you kill?
Give a little pussy,
Will you pick up the pickle?

Listening to Saints, the prostitute also responds in the big shayana style -
I will pay 200 rupees,
But I will calmly move away.

Saints- 100 rupees, I will take hill myself.

The prostitute gets annoyed by listening to Saints and answers-
Why does it cost too much money,
You save your 100 rupees too,
He has a front bathroom,
Go and shake hands by hand!

Once Santa goes to a hotel in a hotel with a prostitute.
After some time having sex, Santa calls the prostitute - Listen, can I ask you a question?
Whore- yes yes! Ask!

Saints - Say good, both boys and girls enjoy sex, even then why are boys taken from the boy?
The prostitute - Hey the ghostly! Money does not always seem to be on the outgoing but on incoming.

Santha was going on a bus with a nun. There were shocks in the bus, so Saina had to fall over the nun to the bar. After a long time, Sunata got excited and said to the nun - would you go with me? Today we both will enjoy sex and you will feel great.

Nine quote - I have nothing to do with these things, I am a nun.

Nun got off at the next stop.

When the bus stopped at his last stop, then Saints also began to go. When the bus conductor said - If you want to take that nun, then come to the big church on Sunday and you are there to talk to him in the voice of God to have sex with you, Of course it will be considered.

Sita hides behind the church at the right time next Sunday and says in the voice of God - Satisfy the desire that you had received last week, then I am happy.

Nun is ready, but she says- I do not want to break my virginity, so I will give it back.

Saints went and looked back.

After all the work said, 'I fooled you, that voice was not mine, I did not belong to God.'

Then the nun removed his cloak and said, I am not a nun, I am a conductor.


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