Funny humorous story first

1.A naval officer is on the bus, standing next to the driver, nor sitting down, afraid to discomfort the uniforms of ironing. A drunken car and walked to the officer, Lala, said to buy a ticket. The officer didn't pay attention to him, but the drunkard was reluctant, so the officer turned and said, "Friends, I am not the ticket staff, I am the Naval officer." Drunk Han replied, "The dare to stop the ship, I have to take the bus."

2.There is a hairy that has a mouth, one day he went to the bird shop to buy a parrot. He asked the owner: "This ... Buffir ... Parrot ... Will ... speak ... Talk?" "" "" "" So I can learn. " Go home with parrots. But after a few days, he arrived in the store asked to return. He complained to the owner: "This ... this ... bird ... Yes ... is ......stammer"