Make day funny (9109u)

The only day of the year that gives an order March 4th Sorry this was one of my dear departed mother's favorite annual jokes. Just had to share the love!

What's long, green and smells like pork? ""Kermit the frogs fingers""

Why does the Pope kiss the ground when he gets off his plane? You would too if you had to fly Alitalia.

What do you call a snake that studies past events? A HISSSSStorian.

The word 'mortar' has 2 different meanings. As I discovered today when the house I built blew up.