Make day funny (9047n)

How many ""friendzoned"" guys does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They just compliment it and get mad when it won't screw.

What did the computer say to the pirate? Want to date hot Russians!

Q: Why didn't Natalie Wood take a shower on the boat? A: She wanted to wash up on shore.

I felt shit today My finger ripped through the toilet paper

@funTweeters you guys are my favorite thing about Twitter. I suggest we get pant less and hug this out like men.