Make day funny (7869j)

I asked a beautiful homeless girl if I could taker her home with me. She said, ""Yes!"" With a big smile... But that quickly changed when I walked away with the cardboard box that she lived in.

I sure get a lot of compliments on my people skills for someone who flips off 10 people every day.

How do you know your girlfriend is getting fat? She can fit into your wife's clothes.

I wish I had a more acidic wit Unfortunately mine's very basic.

Have you ever noticed that cigars and scotch taste the same? They both taste like my dad's approval.