Make day funny (6598u)

What did the overbearing mother melon say to her son and his girlfriend? You Cantaloupe.

I am an obese man identifying as a skinny man... I am trans-fat.

If you ate a tart, never eat another one. Trust me, you don't want to me retarted.

Why did Jesus lose his Halo? Nobody wanted to play on his team any longer after he had a 0 and 2 kill/death ratio and it took him 3 days to respawn.

What kind of boats do smart people ride on? Scholar ships!