Make day funny (2966r)

In most conversations, my face is basically a red battery logo with 10% written next to it.

Why did Opey get fired from his job as a pizza delivery boy? Because Opey never delivered.

What do girls always wear to math class? Alge-Bras!!

Isn't it so weird when you're thinking about someone and then they suddenly appear?... Anyway, my sister in law just caught me masturbating.

The best part of waking up is... nothing. Waking up blows. Fuck you, Folgers.