Make day funny (1636h)

I'm gonna steal a bunch of Jesus fish off minivans and then put them back three days later.

Having sex at work is alright As long as you don't work at a daycare

How can you tell when an accountant is extroverted? He looks at your shoes while he's talking to you instead of his own.

Saying you like a lot of meat in your taco is received differently on Twitter than it is on Facebook. I know that now.

Spruce up your weeknight: run the dishwasher and imagine you're on a cruise!